April Fool's Day 2014

On Sunday, March 9th I took a pregnancy test.  It was negative, again, and I was truly frustrated.  You see, with both my previous pregnancies they occurred THE month we began trying.  This time around I stopped taking the pill in August and we'd decided October would the THE month this time around.  We fully expected it to be much like the previous 2 times, but no such luck!

So by the time I took that test on March 9th I was convinced something was wrong with me and I needed to get in to see my doctor right away.  So I emailed Dr. L. to ask his opinion and I figured since he opened his email by addressing me as "Dear Impatient Patient" he did not see my situation as as dire as I saw it. I presented him with all this information I had read about Secondary Infertility and he responded with, "if nothing happens by summer we'll do a work up", "start charting your cycles," "blah blah blah."  Basically nothing I wanted to hear.  

I was ready to throw in the towel. But instead I downloaded a few Basal Chart Apps and waited for Aunt Flow.  I waited...and waited...and waited and after realizing my basal body temps weren't dropping I figured something was up.  So on Friday under the guise of needing more tomatoes (I really did need them though) I went to the store and secretly bought another test.  Secretly because B thinks I buy WAY too many of those things, and he's right.  I was however determined to wait until Sunday to test again, I figured a full week was enough time to wait.  However, I'm not patient AT ALL and so I ended up testing Friday night morning around 2am...I got a VERY faint positive.  B's parents were visiting so I ever so quietly woke him but to my frustration he couldn't see what I was seeing.

And so I vowed to wait until Sunday using the famous first morning urine!  On Saturday night he urged me to take the other test in the pack but I stood firm and refused.  On Sunday morning at 3:43am my cell phone rang, it was my mom informing me of my grandma's passing.  I was awake for several hours crying and in the midst of my tears I needed to go potty and since it was technically my first morning urine...

I ended up getting a not-so-faint positive but honestly I still wasn't 100% sure (that's what I get for buying a different test than I normally use).  But after 2 positives, no sign of Aunt Flow, and a basal body temp that would not drop I drew my own conclusions.  And heaven knows I needed some good news that day to buoy my spirits.  After testing I remember returning to the living room and talking to Grandma, asking her to watch over "him" until I could hold him in my arms.

On Monday morning I called and scheduled appointments with the nurse and Dr. L. but since I was leaving town for the funeral I knew it would be a few weeks.  We told our parents and not many others (unless someone happened to ask, then I didn't lie), we knew we wanted our girls to be among the first to know and so we vowed to keep it a secret until I returned home.  Originally we wanted to wait to tell the girls and the rest of our families until the day of the ultrasound but with the appointment being scheduled for April Fool's Day I had to change some plans, it was just too tempting.

So instead we told the girls on Saturday afternoon by having them open the presents we had bought them.  They were big sister shirts.  It really turned into a type of reasoning activity with Y, getting her to figure out what it meant that she AND Q had identical shirts with Q's shirt saying "Awesome Big Sister" as well.  Y eventually caught on, Q really couldn't care less but it was fun nonetheless.  We took them out to Don Pablo's for a celebratory dinner afterwards.

When we returned home and put them to bed I prepared an email to send out to all of our close family members to announce Baby Fox #3.  Since I love shopping (especially with coupons) I thought it appropriate to use this little idea I found around the internet.  It was among the ideas I found way back in October when I was 100% certain that we'd be pregnant but it had to sit around on my computer for several more months just waiting to be finalized.

After all our close family knew it was just a matter of playing the waiting game.  Waiting for April Fool's Day to finally arrive, go to my appointment, have the ultrasound and then return home to scan the photo.  I posted it on Facebook and many thought it was an April Fool's joke, which was honestly my intention, but then there were those who knew better.  I enjoyed it and I'm so glad the secrets out of the bag.  I've always been one to share immediately once we knew we were expecting and so to keep it quiet for over 2 weeks was torturous!  

We're due just before Thanksgiving, Nov. 24, 2014 and we really couldn't be more thrilled!!!

38 Week Appointments

So now that I'm almost 39 weeks I figured I should post an update about my 38 week appointments.

On Tuesday I went in with the idea that I would have him strip my membranes (helps assist in the loss of the mucus plug and for some people induces labor).  I asked his opinion about it and he told me that generally it only helps if the individual is at least 4cm dilated, so we agreed that we'd check me and if I was at a 4 then we'd give it a shot.  Well I was only at 3cm, not effaced at all, and Baby Q was still riding high - needless to say we didn't do any membrane stripping.

On Friday, I was attached to the fetal monitor for around an hour and fifteen minutes, for the first 30-45 minutes of which she didn't move at all.  He was then called away to run over to the hospital for a delivery and the moment he left I started to feel a contraction.  Well I guess that's all she needed to wake up and get moving because after that she was all over the place!  As for the contraction, on one hand I was happy because I knew that something was getting started and on the other hand I was bummed that it was only one contraction.  I began to feel a bit better about it when later that night I discovered that I was beginning to lose my mucus plug - without having membranes stripped!

I had a few more contractions that night and have had a few in the days since, I've also continued to slowly lose bits and pieces of my plug - it's all progress so I try not to complain.  I've started saying a "special" prayer and requesting that since Heavenly Father is all-knowing that if it be His will and I could have a successful VBAC then to help labor get started before Friday afternoon at 4pm.  And if the case would be that labor would not end in a VBAC then to just hold off on everything until Friday at 4pm.  I'm not sure if it'll work but I'm sure the prayer is being heard!

37 Weeks

Time is winding down, we'll be meeting Baby Q soon!!  I'm so ready to see her and hold her but not sure I'm ready for the late night/early morning feedings or even the adjustment period that comes with a new baby.  I've been spending a lot of time with Y talking about Q and what will happen when it's time for her to come and teaching her how to hold her using her baby dolls.  Y now walks around the house saying that "Baby Q will be here in a few weeks."  She really is excited about it, she touches my belly all the time and when we're home she is known to pull my shirt up just to see if Baby Q is moving.  She also asks me a lot what Baby Q is doing, most of the times she asks I just tell her that she's sleeping unless of course she happens to be doing a lot of moving around.

Everything is still going pretty smoothly, not sure if I'm dilated any more than the 2cm from last week, he didn't check me on Tuesday so he may just wait and do it on Friday at my next appointment.  Our friend K from Sarnia drove over with her kids to spend the day with us yesterday so we all went to dinner, a park and then out for some ice cream.  It was super hot so we didn't let the kids play at the park for too long after dinner but we stayed just long enough to get some pictures taken.  But please excuse the big greasy stain on my shirt, you'd think I was nursing already and leaking milk but I'm not...I'm just a messy eater when out in public apparently!

Baby Q Update

All is still well, there is nothing of any significance to report, thankfully.  At this stage I like to believe that no news really is good news.  I now have doctor appointments twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays, and it will stay that way until she is born.  As I mentioned before I have to go in to have NSTs done twice a week and even though I gave it my best shot at attempting to convince Dr. L that I only really needed to have one done a week, he didn't buy it.  And so I wake up twice a week at 5am in order to drive B to work.  Fortunately I have awesome friends who have been awesome enough to watch Y for me during these appointments because it would be impossible for me to keep her occupied for an hour while I am hooked up to fetal heart monitors and unable to tend to her.  I am not a morning person at all so getting up so early is leaving me even more tired than I was before.  That also explains why it's been a while between my posts, but it doesn't explain why it's almost 1am and I am still awake - at least I get to sleep in today!

28 Weeks

We are finally 28 weeks along and have reached the 3rd trimester!!!  This is the final stretch, though the light at the end of the tunnel still seems really far away.  We were scheduled to have an ultrasound this week to check the size of Baby Q at this point but the ultrasound tech had to change her schedule and won't be in the office at the time of my appointment so we just pushed it back a week.

Baby Q is doing a lot of moving around these days, especially when Y thinks it's funny to jump all over me.  One day I'm sure Q will make Y pay for all the abuse she suffered while baking in there.  All else seems to be going well at this point and today we finally snapped a few pictures of me that show my belly a bit more.  I am most definitely "showing" now though I can still hide it if I wear a sweats though I can tell I will quickly lose that ability as well, not that I want to hide it.  I love the fact that I actually look more pregnant these days and wouldn't dream of hiding it!  Though the recent cold weather has brought about the return of said sweatshirts and sweatpants.

Pure Bliss

That's really the best phrase I can think of to express the feeling that arises when you start to feel your little one moving about inside of you. This is the moment I have anxiously awaited since finding out we were pregnant, and it has finally arrived! It is truly indescribable to explain what it feels like as well as how much joy it brings.

I first felt movement two nights ago as I was just laying down for bed and for the past couple days that was really the only situation in which I could feel him/her. However, today while laying on the couch I felt more distinct movement and I immediately remembered how those first nudges and flips feel from my pregnancy with Y. I was beyond happy! And finally today after dinner I have been able to feel the movement while sitting upright.

I've been anticipating this day for a while now. With Y I first felt her move at 20 weeks and I know that they generally say you can feel it earlier with your second pregnancy simply because you know what the feeling feels like. Now I just can't wait to take Y's little hand and place it on my belly so that she can feel her sibling kicking and moving. But I realize that is still a few weeks away, but I'll be patient.

This is truly one of the best feeling in the world, second only to holding that precious baby for the first time!

An Awesome Visit!

Yesterday I had my second visit with my OBGYN and I left that doctor's office feeling better than I've ever left it!  If there is any such thing as a perfect visit, this would have been it!  Oddly, I wasn't nervous or anxious at all before my appointment and boy did it show when they took my blood pressure, 119/79!!!  He also thought that my blood sugar levels looked great, with the exception of some which were taken after dinner, but overall he was extremely happy with what he was seeing.  Our little one had a strong heartbeat and Dr. L. didn't even have to search for it.  He placed the monitor on my lower abdomen and BAM there was the heartbeat!

He was so impressed by my blood sugar levels and blood pressure that he said he doesn't need to see me for another 4 weeks.  I know this is typical for most pregnant women at this stage of pregnancy but you have to remember, I was diagnosed a gestational diabetic and chronic hypertensive with Y by the time I was 12 weeks.  At which time I began having 2 week visits and my weekly visits began at 30 weeks.  So it's a big deal to me to hear that I am good for another 4 weeks. 

Obviously we'll take it one visit at a time but for now I feel like I'm floating on a cloud!  Now if only all the visits could be just like this one!

The Good and The Bad

I honestly feel like lately I have been a bit whiny.  I'm actually beginning to annoy myself, but it still doesn't stop me from doing even more whining.   But today, in this post at least, I plan on keeping my whining to a minimum. 

The Good:

• I have made it past the dreaded 11 week, 5 days mark which I wrote about it this post.
• I am only a couple weeks from the completion of the first trimester.
• I am beginning to notice a big difference in how my clothes fit, it's much sooner this time though since I haven't been pregnant for 3 years it could just be my memory which is wrong on this matter.
• My blood sugar levels are looking really good, in my opinion at least!
• I'm still sleeping well at night, probably because I haven't yet lost the ability to sleep on my stomach!!!
• I have a super-dee-dooper husband who doesn't mind my whining and complaining (most days) and picks up where I slack off at.

The Bad:

• Heartburn is setting in and it's hitting hard!  Even milk is beginning to lose it's effectiveness which definitely didn't happen until much later when pregnant with Y.
• I still find it hard to find a lot of energy to do things like clean.  Someone suggested that I limit myself to one cleaning task a day instead of feeling as if I need to accomplish it all in a day, I like that idea.
• I feel really faint when I don't eat but at the same time there isn't much that I want to eat.  Typically I end up settling for whatever is quick and available and then end up enjoying it.
• It is FREEZING here in Michigan at the moment, stepping outside in the broad daylight is still unbearable!

Pins and Needles

I have always been really good at remembering dates and numbers, when they are significant to me.  I add the significant part because it generally has to be something important to me for it to stick.  For example, before the days when absolutely everyone had a cellphone I was the person my friends called when they wanted to know another friend's number or birthday.  Since I've had a cellphone I honestly cannot tell you the last phone number I have memorized, heck, I can't even remember B's cellphone number majority of the time.  Also, don't ask me about historical dates either, because chances are, I will have absolutely no clue.  My father-in-law loves to quiz me, and anyone else present, about "famous" war dates or significant dates in history but the truth of the matter is the only historic date that sticks out to me is June 19, 1865 - the day when slaves were literally freed from slavery.  I say "literally" because even though the Emancipation Proclamation came years prior, it apparently meant very little because it was 2½ years later when they were actually freed.  Now that we're done with the history lesson I guess I should say that honestly I'm not sure why that date is the one historical date I can remember.  Maybe it's because without it I'd be picking cotton on some one's plantation right now.  Okay, maybe not, I have a little more faith in mankind than that - a little more. 

But really I'm kind of just rambling but doing so to make a point, I have a way of manipulating numbers in my mind if I feel they are important to me.  That manipulation can work for me or against me at times and right now it's really working against me.  For the last couple weeks I have been focused on a single day of my pregnancy.  That day is Sunday, January 23rd.  I will be 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  The last time I was 11 weeks and five days pregnant was February 22, 2008 and I have stressed my way through that day every year since, and probably will continue to do so.  Some of you probably remember reading about it, I wrote about it in this post.  I was bleeding, I was scared and I was an emotional wreck.  They ran tons of tests and everything checked out fine but not a single person was able to give me a definitive reason as to what would cause me to bleed that much.  I didn't find their speculations very reassuring or comforting at all, and honestly, I still don't find one bit of comfort in any of it.

About a year or so ago a friend was asking me about it and she mentioned that a mutual acquaintance has had the same thing happen to her in every one of her pregnancies (she has 5 kids).  I found this slightly comforting but also slightly disturbing.  Comforting because it has happened to her with every pregnancy and she has always gone on to deliver healthy babies.  Disturbing because I remember how I felt that day and can not imagine going through it all over again.  And so I find myself stressing over a single day when the reality is it might not happen at all, or, it might happen when I'm 11 weeks 6 days or 13 weeks or any other day of my pregnancy.  I frustrate myself just thinking about it.  And so I sit on pins and needles waiting for a day to come that may or may not come at all let alone when I am anticipating it. Everyone says, "every pregnancy is different" and I know that this is true to an extent, but I'm finding little comfort in that right now.  *Sigh*


As for other pregnancy related news, there's really not much to tell except that I am in the middle of doing a 24-hour Urinalysis.  They'll be testing my urine for protein, if they find more than expected it may be a sign of preeclampsia.  I also did this while pregnant with Y though it was much later in the pregnancy so he only felt the need to do one.  I have a feeling he'll have me doing these much more often this time around.  I am very displeased with this idea!  I hate doing it and I really hate having a gallon-sized container of urine in my refrigerator!  B suggested that I just keep it in the garage.  This wouldn't be such a horrible idea if we had a bathroom anywhere near our garage but as things stand running through the house and downstairs to the garage every time I have to go potty is not appealing to me at all.  Also, it is not simple to explain to a 2 year old, whom you're about to try to potty train, why Mommy is peeing in a cup and pouring it into a big orange jug and then placing said jug into the refrigerator.

Suspicions Confirmed

As you know, B and I finally started trying to conceive this month.  I had been taking my Basal Body Temperature at the instruction of my doctor since September.  I felt like I knew my cycle relatively well before ever doing that but I will admit that taking my basal temperature each morning really helped me to understand it (and predict it) much better.  I knew exactly when I had ovulated and it took the guessing game out of the whole process.  So a week later when I started experiencing certain symptoms I had my suspicions but knew it was way too early to tell.  I can honestly say that I've "known" for the last week but today the test confirmed it:  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

It is no surprise to me that it happened so quickly.  Most people didn't know but when I went to my Preconception Counseling appointment in September my doctor told me to stop taking the pill and use an "alternate form of contraceptive"  (I can't tell you how much that SUCKS)!!!!  But anyway, we did it and it allowed my body to rid itself of the hormones and for us to get pregnant FAST!  It probably also helps that I come from a family of super fertile people.  I know that so many people struggle to conceive so I know we are truly blessed for it to be so "easy" for us.

I spoke of the symptoms I experienced earlier so I guess I will elaborate.  Last week, about 8-10 days DPO (days past ovulation) I realized that I was extremely tired at the oddest times.  In the morning after breakfast Y and I will typically sit and watch Sesame Street, Word World , Barney and Sid the Science Kid.  We don't always watch all of them but usually the TV is on and we get to see bits and pieces of each between our other activities.  Well I found myself falling asleep during some of these times and I don't mean little nods here and there, I mean full on I-can't-keep-my-eyes-open sleep.  Fortunately Y would be so entranced in whatever she was watching/doing that I could get 10-20 minutes of sleep in and she would be perfectly well behaved.  Another thing I started to notice was just how thirsty I constantly was and how I'd wake up each morning with the worst cotton mouth you can imagine.  I remember that happening when I was first pregnant with Y, I don't normally drink many fluids during the day and it's kind of necessary when you're pregnant so in an attempt to prevent the extreme thirst and cotton mouth, I'd better start drinking more.  And the final two clues came last night.  First was during Y's bedtime routine, B took her to brush her teeth and when they returned (about 2-3 minutes later) I was in a deep sleep.  Finally, and this may be TMI for some, but B and I were watching a movie last night I laughed so hard and I (only the tiniest bit) wet myself.  Well the only time I've ever done this was when I was pregnant.  You see I have a tilted uterus and it tilts right into my bladder.  Now it is normal for the uterus to tilt slightly towards the bladder but lets just say mine tilts more than slightly and as a result I get that urinating issue that so many pregnant women experience so much earlier than most...lucky me!

So with all those symptoms I decided that even though I had a "test day" picked out I would move it up, and so I did.  I know that there are so many people who never "go public" about their pregnancy until much later and I actually did give that a thought, if only for a brief second.  I completely realize that after the first trimester the odds of miscarriage decreases but I also realize that if it happens, I'd rather have the same people that I shared the joyous news with first also be the first people there to comfort me through it.  We're only 4 weeks into this pregnancy and know that we have a long way to go with a million possibilities between now and then but you needn't worry and can rest assured that I'll take you along for the ride with us!

Open For Business

For those of you who have been reading our blog from its inception, you likely remember me referring to my pregnancy as a roller coaster ride.  It was a fairly easy pregnancy (based solely on my impressions of comparisons between my own experience and the experiences of other friends and family members).  My roller coaster ride had little to do with fatigue or morning sickness but was more centered around my gestational diabetes, my inability to NOT worry, and a few other scary events that occurred.  Well folks, this roller coaster is gearing up for another ride.  Don't get too excited, it's not yet ready to pull out of the station but it's getting all of its gears checked and making sure all is in perfect working order.

Last April when I went in for my annual exam, I mentioned to my OB/GYN that we were thinking of trying to get pregnant before the end of the year, we didn't have an exact time frame picked out but we knew we wanted it to be before the end of 2010.  His reply was more of a request, he asked me to come in about 2 months prior to trying to conceive.  He wanted to run a few tests to see where my blood sugars were as well check for protein in my urine, etc.  He also requested (more like coerced) me to choose a family doctor and have that doctor do tests to see if I needed to be placed on blood pressure medication.  In order to make sure I went to see another doctor, he only prescribed 2 months of birth control and informed me that once he heard from the other doctor regarding my blood pressure he would then prescribe the other 10 months worth of pills.  It's kinda funny that he had me so figured out.  He knew that if he didn't withhold the remaining months of the prescription that I would not have gone to see that other doctor...and he was 100% correct!

I had always felt that I didn't have blood pressure issues, I bought a blood pressure cuff while I was pregnant with Y and when I checked it at home it was always completely normal - I kept telling him I just had "white coat syndrome."  He never bought it.  So when I went to see our new family doctor we discovered that I didn't have white coat syndrome because while visiting his office my blood pressures were completely normal, just like they are at home.  So I concluded that I just have Dr. Levin syndrome because the only times my blood pressures really seem to be elevated is when I visit his office.  Some may think that it may just be the equipment in his office but I can vouch that it's not just the equipment because starting about 30-60 minutes before a visit to his office I can literally feel my pulse begin to quicken and the anxiety start to build.  I have come to believe that I get myself so worked up thinking that I'm going to go in and have really high blood pressures and worrying so much about it that when I finally get there and have it checked then I really do have high blood pressure.  I think it's completely psychological!

Some have suggested that I just find another doctor but I really, really like him as my doctor.  And more importantly I really, really trust him as my doctor.  I'll admit that at first, I was not a huge fan but after 9 months of seeing him I grew to appreciate his concern and caution and after my labor experience it really solidified it for both me and B.  We are both huge fans of him and I can't even imagine going to another doctor.  It also helps that we have the VT/UVA rivalry in common because it gives us lots of ammunition and banter during football season.  We also give each other restaurant and food recommendations because well, we're both southern and like southern food!

So anyway, back to the present...Last Tuesday, we went in and had our Preconception Counseling visit.  He gave me prescriptions to go to the lab and have some tests done, he advised me to go ahead and start on my gestational diabetic diet (he's 80% certain that I'll get it again), and to take my blood pressures once daily and fax them to him once a week.  That really wasn't too tall an order to fill so a week later I finally caved and went to the lab to have the tests run (at 6am so I didn't have to take Y with me later when B was at work).  I had to give 2 tubes of blood, 1 was for the blood glucose test and the other for a Hemoglobin A1C.  He called me yesterday with the results:  my blood glucose level was great, it was at 85.  Whenever you go to the lab to have it taken they want it to be a fasting blood glucose level which just means you haven't eaten anything and it should be below 95.  As for the Hemoglobin A1C, I had never had one before so I had to Google it.  Here is what I found on MedicineNet:

What is a hemoglobin A1c (A1c)?


To explain what an A1c is, think in simple terms. Sugar sticks, and when it's around for a long time, it's harder to get it off. In the body, sugar sticks too, particularly to proteins. The red blood cells that circulate in the body live for about three months before they die. When sugar sticks to these cells, it gives us an idea of how much sugar has been around for the preceding three months. In most labs, the normal range is 4-5.9 %. In poorly controlled diabetes, its 8.0% or above, and in well controlled patients it's less than 7.0%. The benefits of measuring A1c is that is gives a more reasonable view of what's happening over the course of time (3 months), and the value does not bounce as much as finger stick blood sugar measurements.

My level was like 7.2% which is apparently pretty high.  So I was ordered to begin taking my blood glucose levels again, 4 times a day: before breakfast, 2 hours after breakfast, 2 hours after lunch and 2 hours after dinner.  I am not excited in the least about this aspect of it.  He wants to monitor it and decide if I need to be placed on medication.  I assume that he will order another Hemoglobin A1C in 6 weeks or so to see where I'm at after following a proper diet.

That is where we stand as of right now.  So as many amusement parks are preparing to close for the season, this roller coaster is just starting up and open for business.  So if you're ever in the mood for a roller coaster ride, you know where to come!

18 Wonderful Months!

On March 4th our precious daughter turned 18 months!!! I think the most exciting part for me is that she can now go into nursery at church and I don't have to chase her around anymore, but more on that later. It was my intention to type up this post days ago but I really never got around to it, but better late than never is my motto!

So here goes...at 18 months our little monkey has turned into a parrot, literally! She will repeat EVERYTHING that comes out of our mouths and I have already found myself having to watch what I say. Now I never say anything really vulgar but there are somethings I say that I really don't want my 18 month old saying. Mostly just words like "shoot" and "crap" and "dang it." You know, all those words that we Mormons use instead of saying the "real" words. Anyway, back to the story. Whenever I pick her up to lay her on the changing table to dress her or change her diaper I always say, "up, up and away" and no quicker than I get it out she is giving her little rendition of what I just said. She repeats "wash hands" and just about every other word we say. She's getting really good with naming her body parts and I even got her to say "mouth" and "boca" (which is espanol for mouth). She turns absolutely anything into a telephone. Sometimes I will see her walking around the living room with a piece of paper held up to her ear while she's talking. I honestly have no idea where she got that from because I pretty much always use speakerphone...it's just easier. She loves to play with my iPod Touch and her favorite app is this stupid and simple app called the Wooo! Button. All it is, is a button on the screen that has "Wooo!!" on it and every time you press it you hear the scream WOOOO!! She absolutely LOVES it and laughs hysterically every time she presses the button...it is really entertaining. She also likes the Itsy Bitsy Spider app which sings the song and allows her to press the different characters and they move, etc.

She has graduated at the top of her baby boot camp class!!! She sleeps throughout the night, takes 2-2.5 hour naps, plays in her crib after she wakes up and sometimes she will even let us know when she is ready for bed. One night last week we were sitting and watching American Idol and she grabbed my hand and B's hand and led us to her bedroom to let us know she was ready for bed. I will admit that I sneak into her room every night before I go to bed myself and just watch her and tell her how much mommy loves her. I can still picture her as a tiny baby (actually, she was never a tiny baby but you get my point) sleeping peacefully in her crib and I honestly miss those middle of the night feedings sometimes, when I got to hold her and snuggle her close to me. I used to wonder how I would know when it was time for us to have another baby and people would tell me, "you'll just know." Well I completely understand that now. Even 3 months ago there is no way I would have said that I wanted to deal with the midnight feedings and the sleepless nights and everything else that goes with being the mother of a newborn but I'm at a totally different place right now. The ideas that I dreaded a few months ago, don't seem so horrible anymore and in fact I find myself excited for the day I get to experience them again. So ladies (and any gentlemen who read) I think we're approaching that time when we board the roller coaster of pregnancy again. We're not there yet but we are definitely approaching that gate and I can't wait to throw my hands in the air and scream at the top of my lungs!

On that note, here are a few pictures:

She insisted on picking each sprinkle off the cupcake and eating it individually before she would even think of eating any other part of the cupcake.

She is still not a fan of getting her hands dirty while she eats, but as you can tell she made a slight exception on this day. Although you can also tell that she is working diligently to get it all off her hands.

Some pictures that I snapped after church today.

If nothing else proves it, this look solidifies the fact that she is definitely MY child. This is one of my looks if I've ever seen it. Only 18 months old and she already knows her mother so well! I LOVE IT!!! haha

This stage is proving to be my favorite stage of all, thus far. She's our little clown and she gets more hilarious by the day. I can't wait until she starts making those hilarious statements that little kids always make! Motherhood is AWESOME and these have truly been the best 18 months of my life thus far because I've shared them with my wonderful husband and the perfect blend of our DNA...we got some good genes!

All the Details

So even though B posted a quick post before with pictures and all the basic details of Y, I like to give more details and I know many of you want to know the details. With that said, we arrived here at the hospital about 15 minutes late at 6:45am. They quickly showed us to our room, got us settled, and hooked up my IV and pitocin. This really started the waiting game. I began to feel the contractions, mildly, right away. I let them know that I would definitely want an epidural and was curious when they typically give it. The nurse told me that they don't really give it at a specific time, it's more that they give it to me whenever I felt I needed it. That made me feel more relaxed because I wasn't worried about it being too late when I wanted it or whatever. So, since I arrived at the hospital dilated to 3cm we were thinking that I'd probably progress rather quickly...wrong! Three to four hours later with the pitocin near it's highest level I was still at 3cm. At this point I knew we were in for a long day. Once we reached 4cm (about 6 hours in) I started feeling the contractions more strongly, but still they were very tolerable. The doctor came in and decided it was time to break my water after which he warned that the contractions would get a lot worse so he went ahead and ordered my epidural. Looking back, I wish I had've gotten the epidural before he broke my water! Even after he ordered the epidural it was still an hour and a half before the anesthesiologist showed up. Needless to say, the doctor was write, my contractions did get a lot worst. For that hour and a half I was in hell. I will admit that at first it was fairly easy for me to tolerate but towards the end I couldn't take it anymore. B just sat there wondering what he could do to help and I could tell just by the look on his face how awful he felt having to watch me in pain and be unable to do anything about it. I have never felt such horrible pain as that and at the end all I could really do was cry. But once I got that epidural, I was in pure heaven! He said typically it can take up to an hour to kick in but for me it was instantaneous. I didn't feel a single thing, not even pressure, until later that is. So progression continued to come very slowly and by 11pm I was still only at 6.5cm. I was really feeling the pressure by midnight so they came in and gave me more drugs. I began progressing faster but the pressure was unbearable. Her head was really low in my lower back/butt area and that made it impossible to get comfortable and made the contractions and pressure that much more intense. Anyway, to speed this story up, the doctor finally let me start pushing around 12:30am when I was 10cm, we pushed for 2 hours and made very little progress. We had only managed to get her from a -1 station to a +3 station. So at that point, around 3am, the doctor comes in and gives me my options. He tells me that using forceps is not an option for me because of the gestational diabetes. He also tells me that I can continue to push her out vaginally but that if I chose to do that it would likely result in a 3rd or 4th degree tear. He said my second option was to have a C-section. He was honest to say that either way it wouldn't be easy because if we did the c-section since she was already at a +3 there would be some difficulties in getting her out that way as well. So I chose the c-section even with as much as I didn't want it because the truth is that I prefer a c-section over a really bad tear.

So at that point everything went well and she was born 49 minutes later. I was so exhausted that I ended up sleeping through the entire process, and no, they did not put me under. I went to sleep all on my own. In fact, the entire time I was pushing I would somehow manage to fall asleep between contractions even though they were only like a minute apart. There were several times when I ended up vomiting and others where I ended up having these uncontrollable shakes. But she's here now and it was all worth it. Now I'm just waiting for it to set in that I'm a mom. Life will never be the same, that's for sure! Anyway, Brandon posted all the other details and a couple of pictures below. Don't worry, there will be more to come. She's adorable and has really really thick hair. Right now she is in the nursery because he temperature keeps falling and they need to put her under the warmer. Also because I had gestational diabetes she now has hypoglycemia but they expect that to correct itself in the next couple of days. I'll try to keep you guys updated. Love ya!

Last Minute Thoughts

Okay, I should really be in bed getting some rest right now but I wanted to make a quick post and kind of document what/how I feel right now.

I'm 3cm dilated, so that's progress I can live with! I'm very nervous, very excited, very overwhelmed, honestly the list of emotions could go on forever. In slightly over 7.5 hours I will be in the hospital preparing to have my first child. I'm going to be a mom. Me...the girl who never really wanted kids in the first place is going to have a baby and is really really happy about it. The scary part is that it will be a title I carry with me forever, throughout all the eternities. Maybe that's why I feel so overwhelmed! I'm scared of labor. I'm scared of having to provide for a child, not financially because that we are prepared for, but physically and emotionally and spiritually. I'm not sure if one could ever be prepared for that. I suppose I look at it like I did when watching all those divers during the Olympics. I couldn't help but wonder what would run through their minds as they were on the platform and about to dive head-first into a pool of water. I feel like I have to be like one of those divers and just make the jump and have faith that something is going to break my fall. I need prayers, ya'll! And lots of them! I'm going to be a mom. I'm going to be a mom? I'm going to be a mom! I'm terrified.

I've waited for what seemed like years to meet my daughter, my little baby, my angel and tomorrow the time arrives. I'm excited. I'm overwhelmed. I'm...

"No News is Good News." Really?

So who says, "No news is good news?" Because I'm not really agreeing with it at this point. My mom said that this will increase my patience, well so far it hasn't. I guess, in some ways I am making progress. I'm sure that she's dropped, I've lost my mucus plug, and I can definitely feel more tightening going on now, but still no cigar. I suppose I want her to come so badly without induction that maybe my level of impatience has increased. I guess 5 days isn't really that long though. Honestly I think I'm sick of the long nights, all the trips to the bathroom, the lack of energy, etc. Oh well, I think it's nap time, so I'm gonna keep this short. I'll try to keep you all updated!

Coming Soon...

Where should I even begin?!?! Should I start at the end or at the beginning? Honestly, I'm feeling so many things right now that I'm not even sure where to begin. I'm anxious, happy, scared, apprehensive, excited all rolled up into a ball really.

Ok, I guess I'll start with the small news first...I'm 2cm dilated. I know, big whoop, right?!?! That's what I said, and my doctor's reply was, "well it's better than you were last time." To which I had no reply because in all honesty he's right! The other news...I told the sonographer at my doctor's office today that it felt like I was carrying around a cinder block in my belly. The sad part is that she probably isn't that far from being a cinder block! So I'll start from the beginning: When we first start the ultrasound the sonographer's first comment was on how big of a head she has. This didn't surprise me because, well, we Lovett's are notorious for having HUGE heads, I mean, you've seen my head, it's no cantaloupe or honey dew melon...it's a full on watermelon! (And not the cute personal seedless kind either). My second thought was about how I had to push that watermelon sized head out! My third thought was that her head is probably more than half her body weight. All jokes aside, she then went on to tell me that she's a little over 4000 grams (which is close to 9lbs). Now being that I still have 2 weeks to go, that's not a good thing!!! Needless to say I was rendered speechless at that point. She then tries to comfort me by telling me that that estimate is +/- a pound so she may only be 8lbs. This lady must seriously take me for an idiot! So I look at her and say, "or she could be 10lbs." She then points out that she was hoping I would miss that point...well guess what lady, I didn't!!! Anyway, she then says that she's gonna take a closer look and do another analysis and then says that she is actually somewhere between 8 & 8.5 lbs. I'm still not comforted, I guess i shouldn't have laughed when my doctor told that other lady her baby was monstrous! But it was awesome to see her on the ultrasound again, we were able to see her hair and everything! So at least she won't be a bald-headed baby with a big head. hahaha, sorry I really couldn't resist.

Then it was time to meet with my doctor. He said the main concern with gestational diabetics is the baby's shoulders. These babies tend to have broader shoulders, thus making it more difficult to push out vaginally, but the problem is that they can't tell until they attempt to deliver the baby. For this reason, some doctors just decide to do a c-section and skip the attempt at a vaginal birth all together. Lucky for me, my doctor wants to try the vaginal birth! I do not want a c-section unless it is absolutely necessary. As for when he wants to try this vaginal birth...how about Wednesday, September 3rd. That's right, if she's not here by then of her own free will and choice then she will be forced her through induction. This is the cause of all of my different emotions. I really, really, really do not want to be induced! I want her to come when she's ready, I dunno, I guess I'm just a lot more comfortable with that. But I guess if I do have to be induced then at least it's only 4 days before her due date. But I am praying (as all of you should do with me) that it will be vaginal delivery and before the scheduled induction.

So, yes, today has been a bit emotional for me, but I have been assured by both the sonographer and the doctor that she is really healthy despite her size and all of my pregnancy complications. And in the grand scheme of things, that's all that matters anyway! So as for where we stand now, I have a doctor appointment scheduled for Tuesday and an induction scheduled for Wednesday, but my bag is all packed and I'm ready to go in at anytime before then if she's ready. So I guess you should all prepare yourselves to meet Y because she's coming, one way or another! Keeps us in your prayers!! Love 2 all.

P.S. I may have left out some minor details, if I have then forgive me and I'll add them later. I guess my mind is slightly overwhelmed at this point. Not sure why, but it is! ttyl

D-20: Let the Countdown Begin!

So you know how kids love to ask the question, "are we there yet?" well I have been asking myself a similar question as of late, "is it over yet?" I know I shouldn't complain because my first 35 weeks were wwwwwaaaayyyyy too easy from what I have heard of other peoples pregnancies. But honestly, I just want it to be over with! The heartburn (which I always seem to have) the headaches, the horrible sleep, the kicks I get in my ribs, etc...they are all starting to wear me down.

So that's all the complaining that I will do...in this post, anyway. As for other news, everything still looks good! Today at my Dr appointment my blood pressure was the best it's ever been, at least while at the Dr office, it was 108/73. The doctor's really happy with that number and sometimes I think to myself that had it been higher maybe, just maybe, he would decide to induce me to avoid the risk of it increasing. But 108/73 is definitely not a number he is concerned about. During today's ultrasound he commented on how "high up" she is and I laughed and told him that my ribs could have told him that. Then I asked him if that meant that she was really long or just that she hadn't dropped yet, his only reply was to say that it could mean many things. I love the way he gives me his sarcastic answers. Which reminds me of a story that B loves: Last month B ended up having a day off on the day that I went to the Dr so he got to go with me. Well there was a patient talking to Dr in the hallway asking very nonchalantly if her baby was big or not. And the Dr. says, "yes, it's monstrous." B found this hilarious and still gets a huge laugh out of it. So yeah, he's not the type to give serious answers (unless there's something to worry about). So next week I have my final "detailed" ultrasound which he will check on her growth. I emphasize detailed because the ultrasounds that I have on a weekly basis now aren't really detailed and only used for checking my amniotic fluid. I will also have another NST and he'll check my cervix again...hopefully it's more than ½cm by that point. I told him that I'm ready any time with the exception of next Tuesday, which is my birthday, and call me selfish but I really don't wanna share my birthday! So until I have more to add...see ya later.

A Trip to the Park

So yesterday I wanted to go to the park, so we went and took a couple pictures while there. All in all it was pretty nice except for the mosquitoes which were pretty bad. But anyway, here's the belly at 36wks 2 days:

I haven't a clue what that look was about.

Progress. (If That's What You Want To Call It)

So yesterday was another lovely appointment with the doctor. No major news except to say that I am a ½cm dilated. That also explains the name of this post, because some will think of it as progress. As for me, I like to think of 3cm as progress. (This is my impatient self speaking). He also took the culture so that they can test for the Group B Strep. Other than that it was a typical appointment - normal blood pressure, still no weight gain, blood sugars are still looking good, she decided to cooperate with the NST so I only had to stay hooked up to the machine for about half an hour and my amniotic fluid levels are still great.

On another note, life is generally good. Last week I had a really tough time with Braxton-Hicks contractions but have been doing pretty good since. Most days are pretty good but my energy levels are way down lately especially on Sundays when I have to get up early and go to church. Now that I think of it, I have no idea how I have managed to gain no weight at all because aside from watching TV on the couch and playing on the computer, I really don't want to do much else. Fortunately I have plenty of people giving me pep talks, telling me that it's within reach. But honestly to me it seems like an eternity away, again, my impatient self speaking.

Well that's all for now, I'll keep you guys updated if there is ever anything to update. Until next time...

One Month!

Exactly one month from today our baby is due. Saying that is a bit surreal, I mean we found out relatively early on that we were expecting, right around 4 weeks. And to be frank, finding out that early probably made this whole process seem that much longer and that much more stressful. Anyway, all that aside, things have worked out great thus far and we couldn't' be more thankful for that. Now that we're in the final month, the final few weeks and everything is ready and awaiting her arrival I find myself more and more anxious. She could be here anytime within these next few weeks and knowing that I'll be a mommy to such a precious gift is a bit overwhelming at times. But at the same time, I'm ready for her to be out of me and in our arms!