The Results Are In...

So for those of you familiar with Gestational Diabetes you know that six weeks or so after a gestational diabetic delivers the baby they have to have another screening for diabetes. Well I went in for the test on Saturday, October 18th. It was a pretty stressful day because I cannot tell you how badly I didn't wanna have to deal with diabetes. Well yesterday I received the results and I'M DIABETES FREE!!!! I was soooo happy. Some might not really understand why I was so happy about it. I mean, very rarely does it not go away after the pregnancy. Well in my case, the doctor was pretty certain that I would have diabetes. Most people aren't diagnosed until 24-28 weeks of pregnancy, they typically don't even do the tests before that point. Well due to my lovely family history my doctor decided to test me early and I was diagnosed at 12 weeks. So it's kind of a big deal to me that I don't have it because I really went through my whole pregnancy thinking that I had it for sure.

Every year on our anniversary we take a picture to add to our wedding album, this is this year's picture.

So this definitely isn't the most flattering picture of me but it's pretty funny. Yanna can latch on to my top lip and she does it quite often when she's hungry. It's a mobile pacifier and it keeps her quiet until I can feed her!

She loves her bouncy chair (but not as much as she loves her swing)!

Time Flies

They say time flies when you're having fun! Well it's true because I've had the best 3 years of my life married to B! Yep, today is our 3 year anniversary! That's short compared to most of you but a milestone for us nonetheless. Especially for me! I mean 6 or 7 years ago, had you asked me, I would have told you I wasn't getting married and I definitely wasn't having kids! So if you've learned anything about me it should be that what I say is worth a grain of salt! Because this awesome guy came along and convinced me to marry him. And to top it all off he convinced me to have a baby too! The power of persuasion!!!

All jokes aside, I can honestly say that I have had the best three years of my life married to B and this year it takes on a whole new meaning as I sit here holding our daughter. If I can be blunt and honest then I must admit that growing up I had a pretty crappy impression of marriage. Though I love my parents and I know they love each other, it was not exactly a great depiction of what a marriage should be. Honestly, none of the relationships that I witnessed as a child were really "healthy" relationships. It wasn't until I joined the church that I really started to see what marriage could be. But I didn't think that was possible for me so instead of risking it I just said I'd spend my life single. And then along came B, convincing me that not only were there loving, gentle and kind guys out there but also that I was worthy of one of those guys. I don't think we have a perfect marriage, I don't even think the perfect marriage exists. But I do know that I will do everything in my power to assure Y (and her unborn siblings) that marriage is a wonderful blessing when it's with the right person. And I want to teach her (them) this by action and not words. I dunno what I did to deserve him, but Heavenly Father sent me the greatest gift I could have asked for and every day that I awake and see him laying next to me I am even more grateful. I love you, BPF and I'm welcoming eternity with open arms thanks to you!!!

Updates

So I figured that an update is far overdue. The last time I posted I was telling you all about being able to breastfeed again because she gained the 6oz in 2 days and that we would go back in a week to reassess things. Well that week was up on Friday and she gained 14oz in a week when eating mostly breast milk. That brings her to 11 lbs even! As for me, I'm doing really well. I had my 6 week checkup on Wednesday and seem to be in great shape. I just have to go to see my PCP (primary care physician) to have a hypertension screening and wait for the results from my diabetes test (they always do that for gestational diabetics to make sure it's not still hanging around after the pregnancy). I still find that I really miss being pregnant. I told my mom that I wish I could be pregnant all the time, but I don't want to have a newborn at the end every time. I guess the perfect solution would be to become a surrogate mom, the only problem with that would be that I would be wwwwwaaaaayyyyy too attached to the baby to every give him/her away. I just really miss feeling the movement in there and all that stuff, but I guess it'll just make me appreciate it all the more next time. (And don't think I'm in any rush to get to next time...that's not the message I'm trying to convey! It'll definitely be a couple of years between Y and her next sibling, unless of course there is some "accident"). Anyway, it's late and sleep is very valuable these days, so I'll just leave you with some pictures!

Yippee

Sorry for the delay in posting this message but it's been a little busy for me. I know a lot of you are probably checking to find out what happened on Friday when we went to the doctor, so I'm here to keep you informed. Well I'll just say that first and foremost I just want my baby to be healthy and was willing to do almost anything to do that. I will say almost because I was not willing to give up breastfeeding completely. But as it turns out I don't have to give it up at all!!! The doctor wanted me to feed her strictly formula for two days so that he could make sure that she wasn't having a problem gaining weight. As it turns out she gained 6oz in two days AND the doctor wants me to resume breastfeeding. So we're relieved that there's nothing wrong with our baby and that I can continue to breastfeed. We do go back again on Friday to check her weight and see how she's progressing, but for now, we're on cloud nine.

...And I Thought We Were Doing So Well

It's just after 3am and I know I should be in bed, but I guess I am really just a bit down right now. I just fed Y and as I picked her up out of her bassinet and prepared to feed her, she was of course turning her head towards the breast and I had to stick a bottle in her mouth. It really sucks and is proving to be really hard. The doctor told me, "It's nothing that you're doing" and "not to feel guilty." But it's hard not to feel like it's something I'm doing wrong and it's really impossible to "not feel guilty." I guess I should tell you why I'm not breastfeeding, huh? (That may be a good idea). Well today we went to the pediatrician to check Y's weight since I felt so uneasy about it last visit. I went in thinking that she would be fine, I mean we've made so much progress. I read Babywise and Baby Whisperer, we were making progress with the E.A.S.Y routine (still working on the S so I haven't really gotten much of the Y yet), she was eating every 2.5 to 3 hours. I was so excited and so sure that everything was fine...and then the nurse walks in and weighs her and we find that she's only gained 3 oz in 2 weeks when she should gain approximately an ounce a day. At this point the doctor is not sure if it is just her or if it is a problem with my milk (not enough caloric content or she's not getting enough hindmilk). It's funny, I never really thought I'd be so bothered by not being able to breastfeed but now that I'm experiencing it I absolutely hate not being able to do it. It was my time with her, and it really ticks me off that I made it through all the snack feeds and the terribly sore nipples and all the tears that came along with all it only to reach this point. It may only be that I have to do this for 2 days (she goes back to the Dr on Friday to be reassessed) but that just seems to be so far away at this point. I've received advice from friends to either continue to supplement or to ignore the doctor completely, I'm seriously torn at this point as to what to do. I mean, she's had bottles before. The upsetting part is that I've never had to be the one to give it to her. Either B or my mom would give her the bottle, I only ever did it twice and that was when my nipples were unbearably sore. I've called my lactation consultant to ask her opinion but she's not in again until Friday, so it looks like either way I won't know anything until then...hopefully the scale was just broken! Well I'm going to bed now, but at least I got some pumping done while typing this, if I can't use it for Yanna then maybe I'll sell it. I hear the going rate is $7 an ounce! Here's some pictures, enjoy!

Daddy Time

Mommy Time

Baby Time (She is so freakin' beautiful!)