Ironical

A few days ago I came across the term Placenta Accreta when doing a little more research concerning C-Sections and so I did a little reading up on the term and well, let's just say it freaked me out.  Mostly what disturbed me about it was the idea that most often it can't even be detected until the baby is born, and if you know me then you know I don't like surprises!  I like to know exactly what to expect.

Fast forward to today's doctor appointment which was at 1pm.  Everything was great, I was taken back, gave my urine sample, was hooked up to the machine and then just sat there waiting for Baby Q to move and Dr. L to come in and check on me.  Well, I waited...and waited...and waited.  I could hear the nurses talking outside the door and was able to gather that he had a C-Section scheduled for 12pm but hadn't made it back yet.  2pm rolls around and I'm still hooked up to the machine with no doctor in sight.  Finally at 2:15pm I hear them say that he is on his way back (FYI my doctor's office is right next to the hospital, the two buildings are literally connected) and they explained that the delay was because after the schedule C-Section was complete another patient was ready to deliver so he had to stay and deliver that baby too.  Well at 2:35pm he finally arrives and comes in to check on, me the nurse is also in the room and he begins to talk about the C-Section and how the patient had Placenta Accreta.  Well he probably didn't expect me to know what that was because quite honestly had I not come across the term 2 days earlier I would have had no clue what he was referring to.  And so I mention to him that I had literally just read about that 2 days prior and how ironic it is that he's standing in front of me talking about it now.  I mean it's a pretty stinking rare occurrence, much less to happen right after I finish reading up on it.

Now there are 3 degrees of Placenta Accreta depending on how deep the placenta attaches itself inside the uterine wall.  The worst case scenario is Placenta Percreta (click on the link provided above for more info) but it's also the rarest of the 3 and it just so happens that whoever this lady is, had just that and the only solution was an emergency hysterectomy.  Apparently she wanted a tubal ligation anyway so I guess, hopefully, that made it a little easier for her.  So if reading about it a couple days ago didn't make me nervous enough hearing about this today made me even moreso nervous.  I guess the scariest thing is that regardless of whether someone chooses to have a VBAC or C-section, if they end up with Placenta Accreta the decision they make won't change the fact that they have it.  I guess it just makes you think...

By the way, all was well at the appointment!  Six more weeks to go...

Turning Point

I've been writing this post in my head for a few weeks now.  Originally I was going to write it and have it post for Father's Day, but I never got around to it.  I view my blog like a journal and so I'm sharing this here.

I have always loved my dad.  But yet all those years growing up and even into adulthood I wanted a different dad.  My dad was angry, grumpy, shared no emotion aside from anger and grumpiness, and just an all around pain to grow up with as a father.  I never got excited when my dad came home, in fact we all longed for the times when he wasn't at home.  I secretly longed for dad's like my friend's had, dad's they could actually talk to, dad's who didn't constantly seem to be yelling about something or other, dad's who weren't afraid to give them a hug or say "I love you."  Who says you can't miss what you never had?...whoever said it is idiot!  I never had it and I definitely knew what I was missing.

Even given all his faults I loved my dad and was still oftentimes, in my own mind, a daddy's girl.  Out of all of us kids I was always the quickest to forgive him for whatever he said or did, and that is still the case to this day.  Maybe living so far away from home makes it a bit easier for me, or maybe it's the idea that through all the hurt he inflicted on us he still always managed to provide us with the important things.  Don't get me wrong, we were poor and did without at times but I never missed out on attending a field trip at school because it cost too much, and when I wanted to join the band he found a way to buy me my clarinet, I can think of lots of other occasions when he pulled through when it probably was next to impossible. 

And then there's the flip side of the coin...yes he bought me the clarinet but he never attended a single band concert of mine.  Much to my annoyance though, he was always present at any awards ceremony when I was going to receive an award and no one beamed brighter on my graduation day than he, and I'd often hear him bragging to his friends that I had been accepted to and was going to attend Virginia Tech.  These were the things that annoyed me, mostly because I felt like he was just doing it to take some sort of credit for all of MY hard work.  I guess I should have just been glad that he was there at those moments but the bitterness I felt towards him at those moments overshadowed any amount of joy I should have been feeling.

I have three half brothers whom I have very little to no dealing with at all.  They are results of my dad's infidelity and all three share the same mother.  They have never given my dad a gift for his birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, or for any other reason.  For the most part the only contact that they have with him is when they find themselves in need of his help or assistance on something, like finding a car part cheaply or finding a good deal on a set of rims, etc.  And yet it seems my dad goes out of his way to keep in contact with them.  Wanna know how many times my dad ever called to talk to me?  If you said 0, you're right.  He has started to call recently but it's always to talk to Y.  I really don't mind so much because, well, getting my dad to talk about anything I'd be even slightly interested in is like pulling teeth.  I always contributed his lack of talking to us as a sign of his guilt.  He always felt that we weren't affected by his infidelity, that it was none or our business and therefore our thoughts on the subject didn't matter...we were meant to be seen and not heard and our feelings were never taken into account.  I think he now realizes that his way of thinking was flawed to say the least, but he's still not one to own up to his wrongdoings or mistakes.

As mentioned in several posts we traveled to NC to visit my family a few weeks ago and upon returning home I realized some things, mostly about my dad and the relationship that I and my siblings currently have with him and have had with him in the past. I guess going home and seeing him suffer through the pains of dialysis and the effects that some of the necessary medications which he takes has on him helped me to reach a sort of turning point in our relationship.  Granted I don't ever think we'll have the type of relationship where we call each other on the phone to talk, and I don't hold out for him to open up his arms to hug me and tell me he loves me, but I've been able to find a peace in our relationship.  I have accepted him and his shortcomings.  For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I love my dad and all of his flaws and imperfections.  I realize that I'm grateful for the sacrifices he did make for me and even for being who he is because the hard truth is that without my dad I may not have ever come to appreciate my greatest blessing in this life, my husband.  I no longer find myself judging my dad or being angry at him for the past.  I have instead chosen to focus on the possibilities of the future, hoping that he will be able to find a kidney donor that will be a match for him so that he can live many more years and get to know my children, his grandchildren as they grow.  Because the one thing I can give him credit for is being an awesome granddad, at least until they're 5-8 years old, then he kinda loses his patience with them.

Baseball

A few days after returning from NC we were able to attend a Detroit Tigers game with one of B's little brothers and some friends.  As for myself, I'm not a fan of baseball at all so I spent most of the game people watching and trying to figure out what I missed whenever the crowd yelled.  But even given my disdain for the sport I had an awesome evening with B and everyone.  We had an awesome dinner at Pizza Papalis and spent the entire evening laughing at each other's expense.  And we even had some pretty amazing seats, we bought our tickets online from StubHub.  We were sitting eleven rows up from third base and we got the tickets for really cheap and since it was a Friday night game they even had fireworks afterwards!  Who could ask for anything else?  Well I guess it would have been a little better had they actually won, but it didn't matter to me either way!  Here are some pictures...

 



Baby Q Update

All is still well, there is nothing of any significance to report, thankfully.  At this stage I like to believe that no news really is good news.  I now have doctor appointments twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays, and it will stay that way until she is born.  As I mentioned before I have to go in to have NSTs done twice a week and even though I gave it my best shot at attempting to convince Dr. L that I only really needed to have one done a week, he didn't buy it.  And so I wake up twice a week at 5am in order to drive B to work.  Fortunately I have awesome friends who have been awesome enough to watch Y for me during these appointments because it would be impossible for me to keep her occupied for an hour while I am hooked up to fetal heart monitors and unable to tend to her.  I am not a morning person at all so getting up so early is leaving me even more tired than I was before.  That also explains why it's been a while between my posts, but it doesn't explain why it's almost 1am and I am still awake - at least I get to sleep in today!

Pictures As Promised...A Week Ago!

Washington DC Temple

We made it a point to stop in to take a few pictures and show Y the place where we got engaged and later married.  She loved seeing the temple and kept asking to see Jesus (in reference to the large Christus that is in the Visitor's Center).

This was our first trip back here since we were married here almost 6 years ago.

Y loved visiting the temple but especially loved the replica home that was inside the Visitor's Center.



 

 

Y sitting with me on the bench outside the temple where B proposed.

The Outer Banks

I am convinced that the closest place to Heaven on Earth are the Outer Banks of North Carolina!  If you've never been there for a visit then I insist that you do so.  Fortunately for us it's not a super long drive from my parent's house. Y LOVED it and it was undoubtedly her favorite part of the trip.

Coquina Beach, it's part of the Cape Hatteras National Seashore and right across the road is the Bodie Island Lighthouse that you can climb and tour. 

The walkway that takes you from the showers/changing rooms to the beach.

My mom, Y, and myself playing in the sand.  It was a perfect day - 85 degrees and a water temp of 72!

She's focused...she's got the Michael Jordan tongue going on.

Family & Temple (Again)

Here are a few pictures of us hanging out with my family as well as a final stop at the temple on the drive back home.

Y playing with her cousin, G who's 6 weeks older than her.

We drove back on a Monday so the temple was closed but the grounds were still open.  We had the whole place to ourselves until the couple who took our picture showed up - they were traveling as well.

Surprise!!

Several months ago we began discussing the possibility of taking a road trip to NC to visit family.  B only gets about 2 weeks worth of vacation and we knew we wanted him to have at least a week off once Baby Q arrives.  We thought of several vacation possibilities but since my dad has recently started dialysis and as a result hasn't been in the best physical or even mental state, we were strongly leaning towards that option.  I mentioned the possibility to my mom but swore her to secrecy, mostly because we had been hit with a lot of unexpected bills that can arise when you own a home and a car.  So we said that if we had one more large, unexpected bill then the trip was off.  I didn't want to leave a ton of people disappointed so we just made my mom keep the secret.  When the point came that we knew for sure that we'd be going I decided that it would be cool to have it remain a secret and so that is what we did.

We left our home on Saturday, May 28th at 8:45am and we arrived in the wee hours of the morning on Sunday.  It's about a 12 hour drive but between the bladder of a 7½ month pregnant woman and a newly potty trained 2 year old it became a 17 hour drive.  We really enjoyed the trip and were able to stop by the DC Temple for the first time since we were married there over 5½ years ago.  We split the driving pretty evenly between us and kept Y happy with candy, treats, and DVDs.  Just as we exited the highway to get to my parent's house all the candy came back to haunt us...she puked all over herself and her carseat.  After we reached my parent's house she puked some more but then she was completely fine.

We had an awesome week there and it was so nice to have our own car to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted without borrowing someone else's car.  We drove to see my grandma, to the Outer Banks, to visit various friends, etc.  It was awesome and we left Monday, June 6th to come back home.  We've had a pretty good couple days of rest and sadly B returns to work in the morning.  Now that I'm back I've started to focus on all that I have to do before Baby Q arrives and it feels a bit overwhelming to say the least.

I'm still not really fully recovered from all of the driving so I'll end this post here and come back later to post some of the pictures from our trip as well as an update from my doctor's appointment...stay tuned!