Nursery Chronicles

Those of you who are LDS know that in our church children don't attend nursery until they turn 18 months old (those of you who aren't LDS you know it now). Needless to say I was more than ready for Y to turn 18 months so that I could turn her over to the Nursery Leaders. Y, on the other hand, was not that ready! We have taken her for the previous two Sundays and she really wants no part of it. I kind of feel as if it is our fault though, mostly because she was such a good, easy going, low maintenance baby that we literally took her everywhere with us. And in the event that we went some place where we couldn't take her (i.e. the temple or Piston's games or anniversary dinners) there was always a grandparent that was more than willing to come and watch her for us. So with the exception of once when she was 6 weeks old she has never been left with someone she isn't familiar with.

The first Sunday we took her in was March 7th, and I truly wanted to hold back for a little while simply because there were already 2 or 3 kids in there crying and I knew that would set her off for sure. Long story short, I took her in anyway and she started crying as well. Not only was she crying but she also had a firm grip on my hand making the quick getaway nearly impossible. After a few minutes of listening to her cry I pried my finger from her grasp and bolted for the door. I listened to her cry for several more minutes and then she stopped. I figured that she had just figured out that I wasn't coming back and found a toy she liked and started playing with it. It wasn't until I went back to pick her up at the end of church that I found out just how wrong I had been! Turns out she screamed unless there was someone holding her at all times and even then she would still cry. I walked in to see her with the puffiest, reddest eyes ever and when I took her from the Nursery Leader she clinched on tight to me and would not let go - she would not even let B touch her!

Fast forward a week and I was really dreading having to take her into nursery. As you know this week marked the start of Daylight Savings Time and so we "sprung forward" moving time ahead one full hour. We put Y to bed at her usual time (9pm) on Saturday night and because of the time change she slept until almost 10am Sunday morning. This year at church we are on the 1pm time schedule (which I really HATE) so typically I put her down for a nap around 11am to allow for a 1½ hour nap before leaving for church. However, since it was 10am before she woke up there was no way she was going down for a nap an hour later. So she had no nap before church and as hard as I tried she would not go to church during the Sacrament portion of church either. When Sacrament was over we walked out of the chapel and as soon as she saw the hallway which takes you to the nursery, she started crying (I assure you that is no exaggeration). I picked her up, walked her in and she cried harder. I put her down on the floor and she cried even harder. I eventually rushed out the door and as I shut it behind her I heard her screaming "mommy" while still crying. I think this went on for maybe 10 minutes before she stopped and I began to relax. About 30 minutes later I went to check on her through the peephole and see that she is laying in one of the nursery leader's arms asleep. I hated the idea of him having to sit there and hold her because it really limited his ability to interact with the other kids. So I went in to get her and as soon as I picked her up she started screaming. I was eventually able to calm her down and we went into the foyer and snuggled for a bit. About 20 minutes before church was to end I decided that we would go back in but this time rather than leave her, I would stay with her hoping that she would grow comfortable enough to maybe find a toy and play with it or interact with some of the other children. When we arrived in front of the nursery door she immediately held me tighter and in a soft, sad whimper she said, "no mommy, no mommy, no!" I could have cried, my heart broke, I have never seen her so scared and sad as she was at that moment. I went in and sat on the floor with her and she would not budge from my lap, she would not play with any toy, and she wouldn't even think of playing with the other kids.

I know that every parent deals with this struggle on some level but I am really torn between leaving her and just letting her get used to the idea or staying with her until she grows more comfortable with it. Both ideas cause me stress when I think about it because I don't want to give her a complex that we'll abandon her but at the same time if I continually stay with her I wonder if she will ever truly grow accustomed to the idea or will she always expect me to stay with her.

I have noticed in the past few months that she has grown much more attached to me than ever before so this week I'm going to try sending B in with her. That might not be the best idea either but I gotta try all my options.

Did you ever have a kid like this and if so, what did you do to help them?

We're Ready!

Her room is done!!!!! Now let the countdown begin. Here are some pictures and a video so you guys can see the end result, just click on the image to see the enlarged version. We're very happy with the way it turned out and now the only thing that's missing is the baby to enjoy it all. Let us know what you think!

Slightly Overdue

I named this post slightly overdue because it is just that, I've been saying for the past several days that I would post an entry but never got around to it until now. But I'm sure the lack of having anything to say contributed to my lack of posting. Our lives have been pretty uneventful these past several weeks and I have really just immersed myself in finishing the Y's room (which is actually done, I just need to go clean up my mess). When I'm completely done I will definitely post pictures. The other night I discovered B sitting in her room rocking in the chair, probably imagining what it'll be like once she arrives. I must admit that I have done this myself.

As for doctor appointments, they've been going well for the most part. We have done the NSTs for the past 3 weeks and she only really cooperated for the first one. I told my doctor that was because he was on vacation that week and we saw another doctor. The only thing is that when she doesn't cooperate I end up having to sit there for an hour or so before the doctor gives up and has to do an ultrasound where he has to watch her do certain specific movements, which can take a while as well. The good thing is that every week he does a fluid scan to monitor my amniotic fluid so I get to see her each week. Other than that, there's not much else to tell.

Rambling Thoughts

Yesterday while setting up Y's room I couldn't help but think of how happy I am to not only be becoming a mother but also how happy I am that it is at this time in my life. We are very fortunate to have all the blessings that we have. We always talked about having children before we were married, we agreed that we wanted to have 4 and that we wanted to wait until we had been married at least 2 years. This 2 years was our 'get to know you' period and by far the smartest decision that we ever made. I mean, I look at ahead to the early morning and late night feedings, B being at work all day, me having night classes four nights a week, and just taking inventory of how much time we may have to spend together and after taking all these things into consideration I am so happy that we waited those 2 years before even trying. We know each other so well, we've been able to do things that we couldn't have if we had've had the physical, mental and financial responsibility of a child and now that we've done those things we're finally ready for this next step. We have been given so much and now we can't wait to share that with our daughter. We also have been blessed with great families who support us and help us in any way that they can. Not to forget all of our great friends and the strength that they are. We just feel extremely loved and blessed through everything. It definitely has not been easy (marriage or pregnancy) but both have been so extremely fulfilling and rewarding and after all is said and done, we're just glad that we got to experience both together!

Partially Complete

I just couldn't wait to post the pictures of Y's room so I'm posting a couple of what has been done thus far. I'm excited!!!!!!! The changing table/dresser combo as well as the mattress are in, we just need to go pick them up. So sometime next week it should all be done!

This is a before picture, she already has a ton of stuff and as I said some of it's not even here yet!

Settling In, Calming Worries and NSTs

Where should I start?!?! I guess by saying it's been a long week but everything has successfully been put in its place with the exception of a few pictures that I still need to hang. I am really actually looking forward to getting all those things hung because after that I will start on Y's room. All of the larger furniture items have officially been purchased and with the exception of the mattress and changing table combo, which is due to arrive at the beginning of next week, everything else is piled in her room waiting for me to attack it and start working on it. We are really settling in quite nicely in the new apartment and liking it a lot, especially all the extra room.

On to other topics...I've had numerous people tell me that I do not look as far along as I am (32 weeks). I frequently get asked if the baby is really small and once I was even asked if I had miscarried. So I am going to take this opportunity to calm all worries. No, our baby is not small, according to the doctor she is the right size for her gestational age. This is a huge relief to us considering gestational diabetics can have abnormally large babies. As for me not looking like I'm 32 weeks pregnant: at today's doctor appointment I asked the doctor if I was measuring small and in fact I am measuring at 33 weeks instead of 32 weeks. All I know to tell you is that I'm a tall girl and not small by any means, so maybe that affects how big my bump appears to everyone else. As for me and B, we get to see all the details, and take our word for it, I'm HUGE!!! haha

Today, I sat through my first NST (non-stress test). Basically they strap these two elastic, Velcro belts to me. One around the abdomen and another just below the boobs. Each belt has a monitor attached, the lower monitor measures the fetal heart rate while the upper monitor measures the contractions. Basically they want to see how the baby's heart rate reacts to her movements. She should have a higher heart rate when she is moving and a lower heart rate when she is resting. They monitor the baby for about 30 minutes and I'll be doing this every week up until I deliver. As of today everything looked fine and we're just hoping it stays that way!