Nursery Chronicles

Those of you who are LDS know that in our church children don't attend nursery until they turn 18 months old (those of you who aren't LDS you know it now). Needless to say I was more than ready for Y to turn 18 months so that I could turn her over to the Nursery Leaders. Y, on the other hand, was not that ready! We have taken her for the previous two Sundays and she really wants no part of it. I kind of feel as if it is our fault though, mostly because she was such a good, easy going, low maintenance baby that we literally took her everywhere with us. And in the event that we went some place where we couldn't take her (i.e. the temple or Piston's games or anniversary dinners) there was always a grandparent that was more than willing to come and watch her for us. So with the exception of once when she was 6 weeks old she has never been left with someone she isn't familiar with.

The first Sunday we took her in was March 7th, and I truly wanted to hold back for a little while simply because there were already 2 or 3 kids in there crying and I knew that would set her off for sure. Long story short, I took her in anyway and she started crying as well. Not only was she crying but she also had a firm grip on my hand making the quick getaway nearly impossible. After a few minutes of listening to her cry I pried my finger from her grasp and bolted for the door. I listened to her cry for several more minutes and then she stopped. I figured that she had just figured out that I wasn't coming back and found a toy she liked and started playing with it. It wasn't until I went back to pick her up at the end of church that I found out just how wrong I had been! Turns out she screamed unless there was someone holding her at all times and even then she would still cry. I walked in to see her with the puffiest, reddest eyes ever and when I took her from the Nursery Leader she clinched on tight to me and would not let go - she would not even let B touch her!

Fast forward a week and I was really dreading having to take her into nursery. As you know this week marked the start of Daylight Savings Time and so we "sprung forward" moving time ahead one full hour. We put Y to bed at her usual time (9pm) on Saturday night and because of the time change she slept until almost 10am Sunday morning. This year at church we are on the 1pm time schedule (which I really HATE) so typically I put her down for a nap around 11am to allow for a 1½ hour nap before leaving for church. However, since it was 10am before she woke up there was no way she was going down for a nap an hour later. So she had no nap before church and as hard as I tried she would not go to church during the Sacrament portion of church either. When Sacrament was over we walked out of the chapel and as soon as she saw the hallway which takes you to the nursery, she started crying (I assure you that is no exaggeration). I picked her up, walked her in and she cried harder. I put her down on the floor and she cried even harder. I eventually rushed out the door and as I shut it behind her I heard her screaming "mommy" while still crying. I think this went on for maybe 10 minutes before she stopped and I began to relax. About 30 minutes later I went to check on her through the peephole and see that she is laying in one of the nursery leader's arms asleep. I hated the idea of him having to sit there and hold her because it really limited his ability to interact with the other kids. So I went in to get her and as soon as I picked her up she started screaming. I was eventually able to calm her down and we went into the foyer and snuggled for a bit. About 20 minutes before church was to end I decided that we would go back in but this time rather than leave her, I would stay with her hoping that she would grow comfortable enough to maybe find a toy and play with it or interact with some of the other children. When we arrived in front of the nursery door she immediately held me tighter and in a soft, sad whimper she said, "no mommy, no mommy, no!" I could have cried, my heart broke, I have never seen her so scared and sad as she was at that moment. I went in and sat on the floor with her and she would not budge from my lap, she would not play with any toy, and she wouldn't even think of playing with the other kids.

I know that every parent deals with this struggle on some level but I am really torn between leaving her and just letting her get used to the idea or staying with her until she grows more comfortable with it. Both ideas cause me stress when I think about it because I don't want to give her a complex that we'll abandon her but at the same time if I continually stay with her I wonder if she will ever truly grow accustomed to the idea or will she always expect me to stay with her.

I have noticed in the past few months that she has grown much more attached to me than ever before so this week I'm going to try sending B in with her. That might not be the best idea either but I gotta try all my options.

Did you ever have a kid like this and if so, what did you do to help them?