It's been hitting me lately that I'm not only going to be a mother soon but I'm going to be a mother to a little girl. This scares me! Not only because I wonder if I'll be a good mother or if I'll teach her all the right things but more so because of all those outside, worldly influences. It was hard to be a girl when I was growing up and it's even harder now.
So my question for you and the advice/opinions I seek is concerning what you think is/are the most important things that you feel a mother should teach her daughter.
I've been thinking about this for a while and a situation I experienced helped me form a conclusion. I think the most important thing to teach a daughter is to love and accept herself no matter what those around her say/think/do. I mean, for the most part, parents think that their kids are beautiful no matter what. But it is so important to help our kids know and understand that.
I'll share with you the experience I was witness to that really broke my heart. There were these two females, one was 8 years old and the other was old enough to know better. Well the older of the two began to criticize the 8 year old girl's eyebrows. She told her they were funny looking and that she should do something about them. Well, we initially thought that this little girl just ignored her until days later when someone noticed that there was a patch cut out of this little girls eyebrow. When we asked her what happened she just started to cry, at first we assumed it was because she thought she'd get into trouble, but even after guaranteeing her that she would not be punished and that we just wanted to know what happened, she still continued to cry. I then remembered what had been said to her about her eyebrows and after prodding and asking if that was why she had tried to "fix" them she finally admitted what she had done and why she had done it. The hurt in her eyes as she continued to cry was heartbreaking. It was at that moment I realized that I will have a beautiful little girl and despite how perfect I think she is, there will always be someone somewhere that will find someway or something to make her feel inferior. It is truly heartbreaking.
So now you know what I think, please share with me what you think. It could be anything, I'm really just curious and kind of seeking to start a discussion. Although mostly women read this blog I welcome responses from those few males that read it too. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.
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3 comments:
I think that one of the most important, if not THE most important thing you can teach a girl is what a healthy relationship is about, and how to relate to men in general. Of course, it's important for a girl to witness their mother being treated with love and respect by their dad because then they will grow up knowing what kind of relationship they want and deserve. Also, I think it's equally important for a girl to witness their mother cherishing and treating their father with love and respect, so as not to have unrealistic expectations about what a relationship or marriage is about. I see many women fail in their relationships because they feel that the world revolves around them and the man just can't live up to the unrealistic and selfish expectations.
Of course, a girl doesn't have to have these things in order to have a healthy relationship later in life, but it helps.
Bottom line, I think it's important for girls to learn self-respect and to demand respect from others, but at the same time learn about the fine line between self-respect/humility and pride/selfishness.
I wish I could help! But what can I say, I'm kinda glad I'm not able to ;)
I know that the one thing that helped me through the tumultuous teen and pre-teen years was participation and success in sports. I gained such self-confidence and self-respect for the things my mind and body were able to accomplish that I never wanted to jeopardize that with self-deprecating activities. That's my view! Not very helpful, I know, but I wanted to contribute.
Don't worry umeka! you'll be a good mom! I know its hard to be a girl in thi world that we have now. i should know! im a girl in this world right now. im just a little girl During this time i need alot of help from my mom and thats how your baby will be when she comes to my age. teach her right let her know that hevanly father loves her and also let her know that you are always there for her. thats what comforts me.
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