Not My Will...

Okay, so I have finally reached a point where I am at peace enough to share my latest pregnancy woes (if I can call it that). Just when I felt that I had adjusted to being labeled a gestational diabetic, I go to my doctors visit on Wednesday to find that I am now labeled a chronic hypertensive gestational diabetic. Well if any of you are unsure of what that is, it basically means that I have high blood pressure as well as the diabetes. As you can imagine, I was devastated. After talking to the doctor and asking a million questions and having him waste his precious time telling me not to worry, I leave the doctor's office and make it to the car before the sky opens and my tears start to flow for what seems like an endless amount of time. I cried out of fear, out of extreme sadness, out of helplessness - knowing that I have very little control over things from here on out. I was previously not emotionally prepared to share this because the simple thought of it would bring me to tears. There are still a lot of unknowns out there but I feel as if I am more able and prepared to accept what happens, despite of what happens. I have had the prayers of close family members, I have had these same family members fast on our behalf, and I have spent time in the temple praying and listening and I can truly say that I am more peaceful than ever. I do not suggest that I know how things will turn out but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be prepared and able to accept the outcome. I am now willing to accept Heavenly Father's will for our family which was a huge struggle for me because I always feel the need to be in complete control of my life. Don't get me wrong, the possibility of having preeclampsia, stillbirth, miscarriage and the host of other potential problems stills scares me but I have faith that things will turn out the way that they should.

Gone to Carolina In My Mind

I thought it was spring. I thought it was almost April. I thought tomorrow was Easter. But then I woke up this morning to all this snow, and I knew that I, the calendar, and all other sane people must be wrong! I cannot express how tired I am of snow, I no longer hate snow...I ABHOR snow! We have had a winter of more snow than I've ever seen in my life (which probably doesn't say much, but you get the point) while back home in NC my entire family has enjoyed a winter full of 75 degree weather...I got the raw end of the deal! As I think about it, I don't ever think I was one of those kids who liked or enjoyed snow. In NC even though we only got snow once every several years and then it was only a couple inches I hated it because everything would close down and I'd be stuck inside for about a week. Now that I live in Michigan I hate it because I am forced to go out in it because here, the world doesn't stop when it snows. Which I suppose is a good thing because in winters like this one everyone would be stuck inside the whole time and nothing would get done. So anyway you figure it I'm stuck in a catch 22 situation. But honestly, having lived through a few hurricane's I can honestly say that I enjoyed them more than snow. Weird, I know, but at least it provided some excitement. The wind, the rain, the trees falling and breaking our windows. I've always been fascinated by dangerous storms, in fact after the movie Twister was released I decided I was going to be a storm chaser - needless to say, it didn't work out.

Anyway, back to this horrible weather...I woke up this morning singing this song that we always sang in kindergarten called "Carolina in the Morning." The song opens with the line, "Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning..." and that pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. When I was growing up my Mom would have killed me if it were 40 degrees out and I wasn't bundled up from head to toe. Now 40 degrees seems so warm, it makes me wanna put on flip flops and shorts! That song ends by saying, "...if I had Aladdin's Lamp for only a day, I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say, Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning." Well I guess I'll end my reminiscing now, I fly home on May 31st. That's not too far away, right????

An Update

Well I am adjusting to my new eating habits (or should I say limitations) fairly well. As far as my glucose levels are concerned I can tell a difference in the numbers since I've been following the diet that was given. My only complaint is having to eat breakfast at 7am every morning. It's not a big deal on the days that I'm at school because I'm up by 6am and leaving the house by 7 anyway. But on those days when I have no school and nothing to do, those are the days that really suck to get up and eat. Most people suggest that I just go back to sleep after I eat, well that would work if it weren't for the fact that at 9am I have to get back up to check my glucose level and then eat again at 9:15am. I suppose this is just preparing me for when the baby arrives! But other than that gripe I think I am adjusting fairly well.

My next doctor appointment is on Wednesday so I am pretty interested to hear what the doctor has to say and hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat again. It's always very reassuring whenever I have the opportunity to hear the baby's heartbeat or see an ultrasound. Last night while getting ready for bed, B and I were feeling how hard my stomach is getting though people still comment that I am not showing at all. I'm sure one day a baby bump will pop up outta nowhere. I kept telling myself to take pictures so that I can see the difference from week to week but I never get around to it and before you know it another week is over. Such is the life of a procrastinator. The only thing that I seem to do on time is post to this blog...but then again there is no due date here. On that note...I'm out!

A Visit with My Dietitian

Well I guess all I can say is thank goodness I'm good with numbers! I was given all these laws that I need to obey as far as my eating is concerned. I can have 17 Carbohydrate choices, 7oz mean/meat substitute and 5 servings of fat and I can break those up throughout the day however I see fit as long as it fits into 6 meals. So for example, for breakfast she recommends that I have 2 Carbohydrate choices, 1 fat choice, and 2oz of meat/protein. Well I don't know about you, but what is a carbohydrate choice? Does that mean I can have whatever carb I want as long as I only eat one of them?!?! Unfortunately not, it means that I can have 1 serving of carbs for every carb choice that I use. So how much is a serving of each...that's where my number crunching comes in for me but I won't bore you with that. Basically 1 serving of carbs is about equal to 1 slice of bread. And I am rewarded for eating fiber because I can subtract the amount of carbs I eat from the amount of fiber I eat...yay. But anyway, story short it is highly manageable but it'll take a lot of effort and responsibility, but if it means a healthy baby then it's worth it!

It's Official...

...I'm a diabetic.

You know how you hear people say, 'I always wanted to say that!'? Well this is definitely not one of those times for me!!! I would have lived a perfectly happy life having never made that statement, but oh well... c'est la vie. (that's french for "That's Life" for anyone who didn't know). I guess to put a positive spin on things it's only gestational diabetes so it will most likely go away after the baby is born. And when it's all done I can say "venni vetti vicci" (I came, I saw, I conquered).

There is one decision that I have made which kind of makes me laugh...I'm sure everyone can remember themselves in a similar situation. Do you recall ever giving your mom a hard time when you were young, maybe you did something really bad, then she starts to give you a lecture about everything she went through for the "9 months you were in her belly?" Well, since receiving this diagnosis, I have just added another 10-15 minutes onto the lectures I will give! This child better be an angel, but I won't hold my breath on that!

Anyway, I'll write more when I know more but all I can tell you is that I have to visit a dietitian right away. She will tell me what I can and can't eat, the times that I am supposed to eat and more information like that. All I know now is that I am supposed to eat 6 times per day and test my blood sugar level 4 times a day. I am really not looking forward to pricking my fingers that much, but I guess I'll do what I have to do! Until I find out more...ttys.

It's A Girl...

for my sister anyway. She had her 20-week ultrasound yesterday and I guess the doctor didn't see a little 'wee-wee' floating anywhere in there. I wanted her to have a boy but she is happy because she wanted a little girl anyway. I suppose it's just as well since she already has a son. Just thought I'd let those of you who were curious know. ttyl.

The Results Are In...

Our doctor called yesterday while we were still in Canada and left a message on our answering machine that my sugar test came back high. So now I have to go in on Friday and do the 3-hour glucose tolerance test. I am so excited!!! (I hope you could since the extreme sarcasm in my voice). Honestly it has done nothing but increase the amount of worry that I already have. Anyway, for those of you who aren't familiar with the test, I'll tell you a little about it. I can't eat or drink anything after midnight on Friday. I have to be at the doctor's office by 8:15am when they will take my blood. They will then have me drink the "Glucola" and they will take my blood again and again and again every hour for the next 3 hours. I dunno about you guys but it sounds like a blast to me! (More extreme sarcasm). In talking to my mom today I told her that with all this baby seems to be taking me through, he/she had better be an angel for the rest of its life, or at least the first 18 years of it. I can't remember ever being pricked by so many needles as I have in the past 3 months! I really really do love this baby! (Absolutely NO sarcasm there)!

Yesterday's Doctor Appointment

Sorry that I didn't post this yesterday, but honestly, I just didn't feel like it. I'm lazy, I know, but since I'm pregnant I think that is allowed every now and again!

So the appointment went well! We listened to the baby's heartbeat, which was still pumping strong and then I asked him a bunch of questions which he answered. Based upon all the information and tests from the ER as well as listening to the heartbeat yesterday, he doesn't really feel that I should be overly concerned about it. Hearing that from the Dr was really calming, I went in there really concerned and I left feeling reassured that everything is okay and my baby is fine. Other than answering a million of my other questions he has said that he is concerned about my blood pressure. It is not at hypertension levels but he is concerned about it and said he would decide whether to treat me as a hypertension patient or not. (I wanna do some research on it because I always get really nervous and anxious when I go and my pulse quickens and honestly it seems really ridiculous and I have no idea why I do it, but I do and I wanna know if it could affect my blood pressure readings). Also since diabetes and gestational diabetes happens to run in my family he went ahead and gave me an early sugar test. I can find out those results on Monday. The good news is that I've only gained 2 pounds, woohoo! So all in all there are a couple things that I'm concerned about right now, but hopefully all will turn out well, but I'll keep you posted!

I almost forgot...

Okay, so i know I just posted about 5 minutes ago but I forgot to mention and include pictures of baby project #2. It's one of those French Memory/Photo boards! I started it yesterday (Monday) and I'm almost finished with it, I only need to sew on 8 more buttons and then I'm done. But here are the pictures anyway.

A picture of the whole board.

A couple of the buttons close up - they all have a baby theme.

A good shot of the ribbon and fabric.

I just Love this button, it's my favorite!

I Love to Shop...

and it's even more fun when it's for a baby! I am surprised actually, I got just as much enjoyment from shopping for the baby as I do when I'm shopping for myself! Now I know what you're probably thinking, "how can she shop for a baby that she doesn't even know the gender for"? Well that's an easy answer...it's called gender neutral!!! Anyway, I really only went to the mall to meet with a group from a class and do some research for our project (yes, that really is the truth). However, I ended up having a few hours to waste and I just couldn't resist. It just so turns out that since all the spring/summer clothing is out now they're selling all the fall/winter stuff at really cheap prices (especially at The Children's Place) and it just so happens that our dear baby will be born in September which is when the really cold weather starts to creep in. So anyway, enough of the talkin' here are my really cool finds!

This little jumper is from Gap

and this is the back near the butt area.

A cute little cream 2-piece

Same as the previous, but green of course.

Another little cream 2-piece, only it's reversible

This is the reverse of the previous picture

The onesie to match the previous two.