It's New Year's Eve and so it is only appropriate that I give 2008 a final goodbye. This year has hands down been the most stressful and dramatic year of my ENTIRE life, but it's also been the most joyous year of my life. As some of you know, those who have been reading our blog from the beginning, we started the blog so that we could keep everyone informed about the goings on of our pregnancy. Well believe it or not, it's been almost a full year ago. We discovered we were pregnant on January 2, 2007 and posted our very first post ("How We Discovered We Were Pregnant") on January 5, 2007. Since then you've shared in the scariest moment of our pregnancy ("Just When You Think Life is Getting Boring..."), the saddest day of our pregnancy ("It's Official..."), and the happiest day of our pregnancy - minus the accident - ("It's A..."). I shared my thoughts and my fears with you - I told you how scared I was with the gestational diabetes and the high blood pressure, how horrified I was to wake up and find blood everywhere, my debate about being a stay at home mom, my fears concerning motherhood, my labor, Y's first pictures, my breastfeeding battles, and so much more. And in return I always received positive reinforcement and wonderful advice. Some people may think that I have shared a bit too much. And maybe I have, but honestly I don't think I'd change a thing because this has become my place that I can come when I need assistance or advice or if I just need to vent and cry it out. I sincerely think that being able to blog about my concerns and fears and reading your comments helped me though some of those really tough moments when I was frustrated or tired or scared. But I got through it and we now have a beautiful, healthy and extremely happy baby girl.
To give you an update, I may have been wrong in something I said in my Great Debate post. I said, pretty forcefully, that I didn't want to be a stay at home mom and that nothing could change my mind. I still fully believe that I can be just as great a mom if I worked as I could be if I stay home but as I watch Y everyday I have a stronger desire to stay home with her just to protect her. No one will ever take care of her the way that I can. Even before she was born daycare was never an option for me, I wanted a nanny to come in and watch her while I worked. Now even that doesn't sit well with me. The perfect solution would be if we have family that lived closer, I think I could accept that much easier than any other scenario. I still want a career and the day will probably come when I will feel kind of "trapped" at home, but for now I just have this overwhelming feeling to protect her for as long as I can. Like I said before, holding your baby in your hands for the first time changes a lot of things, a lot more than you could ever imagine - even while you're pregnant.
I am looking forward to 2009! I can't promise you that it will be as exciting a year as 2008 has been but I will definitely keep you posted and up-to-date. Hopefully, we won't have any news of any new additions this year (knocking on wood) but if we do...rest assured that you'll be hearing about it and you can take that journey with us too. I hope you all have a wonderful new year, here's to 2009!
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1 comment:
Umeka, you and Brandon are awesome, I am amazed at how positive and upbeat you both are. No wonder people love to be around you! You are a very brave and courageous woman and believe me, raising kids is NOT easy. I know you (with a little help from above) will make the best decision for your family. Thanks for being such a genuine friend and Happy New Year!
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