Housewife? Uhhh, NO!

Several weeks ago I came across an article entitled, "Why I Can't Stop Reading Mormon Housewife Blogs."  I myself thought the article was pretty witty and I actually enjoyed reading it.  I have read a few comments of those who have taken offense to it.  I guess it really depends on how you perceive it.  But after reading it I actually intended to write a post about how they should come visit the home of THIS Mormon "housewife" and see an entirely different side of things.

Yes, I do have an extremely handsome husband though I couldn't get him in a "cute lumberjack shirts and square-framed glasses" if my life depended on it.  Yes, I do think that my daughter could be a model for Baby GAP.  As for my home looking like an Anthropologie magazine...not so much!  I personally don't read "Mormon housewife blogs" regularly and probably never will.  In fact I've only ever come across them by accident or by clicking on a link someone else provided.  Maybe it's due to the fact that I really don't write my blog to entertain others so much and I write to vent (and inform) about what's going on in our life at the moment.  This blog is my release, my way of letting you guys (and the rest of the world if they're interested) into my thoughts, trials and life in general.  I don't write about arguments that I had with B, not because they don't happen but because I don't believe this is a place to write that.  And honestly, I generally don't feel that they're important enough to write about and who really wants to read a blog that discusses such private things?  I would rather go watch a soap opera to see that kinda thing (which I gave up cold turkey about 1½ years ago).

But enough about all of that, I really started writing this post because a few days ago I came across another article on a friend's Facebook page entitled, "What You Don't See."  And while I know that this article wasn't written in response to the previous article (it was written 9 months prior to the other) I think that it would make the perfect response if there was to be one.  At least it is a much more accurate depiction of my life as a "Mormon housewife" than that presented in the first article and in the blogs to which is refers

PS - I REALLY hate the word housewife, to me it sounds so degrading.  I am a stay at home mom, I am NOT a housewife.  I never really understood why I hated the word so much and I decided to google it.  What I came across solidified my stance on hating the word.  When I searched on Google it was this link that caught my eye, it is from wikiHow and along with giving the definition of housewife it also gives a list of 13 "suggestions to help you flourish in this role."  When I reached #2 and began reading it my hatred for the word grew! 

Suggestion #2 is: Maintain a Good Appearance.  Which alone is not a bad suggestion but when I continued reading what was below the heading, that is when I began rolling my eyes.  It says: 

It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a husband, but that kind of behaviour makes men look elsewhere. While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, a committed relationship. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look pretty, wearing clothes that delight him. A lot of women would do well to wear skirts more often, as many men dislike women wearing trousers. Keep in mind that not all men prefer dressy dresses and skirts everyday. If your husband continually tells you he likes when you wear a pair of jeans or trousers, by all means, take the hint, while staying neat and clean. Good grooming and hygiene are vital, so keep yourself neat and feminine by having a pretty hair cut, nice nails and smooth legs/underarms. Be happy to see him, and greet him with a smile.

Are you kidding me?!?!  Typically by the time B gets home from work I haven't even showered and I usually only shave my legs/underarms once a week, maybe TMI but is whoever wrote this serious?  I love my husband A LOT but for me, this  would be a bit much.

I also take issue with #4: Be Mindful and Considerate of Your Spouse's Needs which instructs me to "have his favorite drink ready" when he arrives home among other things.  And then there's #10:  Keep the house tidy and pleasant to be in which tells me that "There is no excuse for your spouse to come home to a mess, so make friends with your hoover and feather duster."  Has the person who wrote that ever lived in a house with a 2 year old.  If I am to follow their suggestion #10 there is no way I can possibly accomplish suggestion #2.

I cannot tell you how annoyed that made me and while it did have some good points they were overshadowed by the annoyingly stupid ones.  So I did one last Google search, "housewife vs stay at home mom" and I found a blog post written back in 2009 and basically it encompassed everything I felt.  Give it a read, it's appropriately titled, Stay at Home Mom vs. Housewife.

I guess all those suggestions just make me all the more appreciative of my husband who is often more understanding than I am when the house isn't as clean as it could be at the end of the day and who doesn't make a huge issue out of the fact that I'm not always showered by the time he arrives home.

Happy Blogoversary!!

January 5, 2008 at 10:40PM I published my first blog post!  Three years and 339 posts later and I'm still writing.  My motivation for starting a blog was so that our friends and family members could follow us through our first pregnancy - it was easier than making tons of phone calls each time there was a new development.  After Y's birth it slightly evolved and included pictures of her growth each month, milestones as well as our own struggles with parenthood and life in general.  Our blog really still serves the same purpose as it always has, to keep those closest to us informed about our journey through life, but now we have a few readers who we don't know at all (yes, I stalk my own blog and keep tabs of who visits and when). 

I didn't set out to be one of those blogs that attracts a ton of readers based on my witty personality, or super creative word play.  And I guess that's a good thing because had that have been my goal I would have failed miserably!  But for those of you who I do not know personally or drop in from a friend's blog, thanks for stopping by.  I hope I don't bore you too much but if I do, I guess you should reread the first two sentences of this paragraph. 

So much has changed for us in the past 3 years and I can only scarcely take it all in.  We are blessed.  We have had our every need met, now that's not to say that we haven't struggled.  We have.  And it's also not to say that we have everything that we want.  We don't.  But we have transportation, employment, our own home, food, a healthy little girl, and another precious angel on the way.  Sure, there's more that we could ask for, and we do ask for it often.  There is nothing wrong with asking, that is what prayer is for, right?  But we try not to complain if the answer to a certain request is either "no" or "not yet" because we truly know how blessed we are.

I've been told a time or two (or three) since starting this blog that I should become a writer of some kind one day.  And well, the truth of the matter is that I hate writing and my grammar sucks (though a really good editor could solve that problem).  So the truth is, that aside from writing my own thoughts and ramblings on this blog I really, really, really hate to write.  The only way I could be a writer of any kind is if I could truly say whatever was on my mind and say it how I wanted to say it without having to be a slave to a deadline.  And realistically, I can't name a single job of any kind that would allow that.  So for now I'll just keep writing here on our blog which has become more of a journal for me.

Thanks for coming along with us on our journey!

So Long, Farewell, We Have to Bid Adieu

It's New Year's Eve and so it is only appropriate that I give 2008 a final goodbye. This year has hands down been the most stressful and dramatic year of my ENTIRE life, but it's also been the most joyous year of my life. As some of you know, those who have been reading our blog from the beginning, we started the blog so that we could keep everyone informed about the goings on of our pregnancy. Well believe it or not, it's been almost a full year ago. We discovered we were pregnant on January 2, 2007 and posted our very first post ("How We Discovered We Were Pregnant") on January 5, 2007. Since then you've shared in the scariest moment of our pregnancy ("Just When You Think Life is Getting Boring..."), the saddest day of our pregnancy ("It's Official..."), and the happiest day of our pregnancy - minus the accident - ("It's A..."). I shared my thoughts and my fears with you - I told you how scared I was with the gestational diabetes and the high blood pressure, how horrified I was to wake up and find blood everywhere, my debate about being a stay at home mom, my fears concerning motherhood, my labor, Y's first pictures, my breastfeeding battles, and so much more. And in return I always received positive reinforcement and wonderful advice. Some people may think that I have shared a bit too much. And maybe I have, but honestly I don't think I'd change a thing because this has become my place that I can come when I need assistance or advice or if I just need to vent and cry it out. I sincerely think that being able to blog about my concerns and fears and reading your comments helped me though some of those really tough moments when I was frustrated or tired or scared. But I got through it and we now have a beautiful, healthy and extremely happy baby girl.

To give you an update, I may have been wrong in something I said in my Great Debate post. I said, pretty forcefully, that I didn't want to be a stay at home mom and that nothing could change my mind. I still fully believe that I can be just as great a mom if I worked as I could be if I stay home but as I watch Y everyday I have a stronger desire to stay home with her just to protect her. No one will ever take care of her the way that I can. Even before she was born daycare was never an option for me, I wanted a nanny to come in and watch her while I worked. Now even that doesn't sit well with me. The perfect solution would be if we have family that lived closer, I think I could accept that much easier than any other scenario. I still want a career and the day will probably come when I will feel kind of "trapped" at home, but for now I just have this overwhelming feeling to protect her for as long as I can. Like I said before, holding your baby in your hands for the first time changes a lot of things, a lot more than you could ever imagine - even while you're pregnant.

I am looking forward to 2009! I can't promise you that it will be as exciting a year as 2008 has been but I will definitely keep you posted and up-to-date. Hopefully, we won't have any news of any new additions this year (knocking on wood) but if we do...rest assured that you'll be hearing about it and you can take that journey with us too. I hope you all have a wonderful new year, here's to 2009!

Small Changes

FYI: In an effort to be slightly more "safe" I have started referring to us using our initials. So from here on out you will see us refered to as B, U and Y (That actually spells BUY, and that wasn't intentional). I just didn't wanna make it super easy for some internet wacko to find out information about us and I didn't wanna change our blog name in order to disguise our last name. I also wanted to avoid making the blog private if at all possible, so we'll see how this works. I've gone through all of our previous postings and changed those as well.