Updates

So I figured that an update is far overdue. The last time I posted I was telling you all about being able to breastfeed again because she gained the 6oz in 2 days and that we would go back in a week to reassess things. Well that week was up on Friday and she gained 14oz in a week when eating mostly breast milk. That brings her to 11 lbs even! As for me, I'm doing really well. I had my 6 week checkup on Wednesday and seem to be in great shape. I just have to go to see my PCP (primary care physician) to have a hypertension screening and wait for the results from my diabetes test (they always do that for gestational diabetics to make sure it's not still hanging around after the pregnancy). I still find that I really miss being pregnant. I told my mom that I wish I could be pregnant all the time, but I don't want to have a newborn at the end every time. I guess the perfect solution would be to become a surrogate mom, the only problem with that would be that I would be wwwwwaaaaayyyyy too attached to the baby to every give him/her away. I just really miss feeling the movement in there and all that stuff, but I guess it'll just make me appreciate it all the more next time. (And don't think I'm in any rush to get to next time...that's not the message I'm trying to convey! It'll definitely be a couple of years between Y and her next sibling, unless of course there is some "accident"). Anyway, it's late and sleep is very valuable these days, so I'll just leave you with some pictures!

Yippee

Sorry for the delay in posting this message but it's been a little busy for me. I know a lot of you are probably checking to find out what happened on Friday when we went to the doctor, so I'm here to keep you informed. Well I'll just say that first and foremost I just want my baby to be healthy and was willing to do almost anything to do that. I will say almost because I was not willing to give up breastfeeding completely. But as it turns out I don't have to give it up at all!!! The doctor wanted me to feed her strictly formula for two days so that he could make sure that she wasn't having a problem gaining weight. As it turns out she gained 6oz in two days AND the doctor wants me to resume breastfeeding. So we're relieved that there's nothing wrong with our baby and that I can continue to breastfeed. We do go back again on Friday to check her weight and see how she's progressing, but for now, we're on cloud nine.

...And I Thought We Were Doing So Well

It's just after 3am and I know I should be in bed, but I guess I am really just a bit down right now. I just fed Y and as I picked her up out of her bassinet and prepared to feed her, she was of course turning her head towards the breast and I had to stick a bottle in her mouth. It really sucks and is proving to be really hard. The doctor told me, "It's nothing that you're doing" and "not to feel guilty." But it's hard not to feel like it's something I'm doing wrong and it's really impossible to "not feel guilty." I guess I should tell you why I'm not breastfeeding, huh? (That may be a good idea). Well today we went to the pediatrician to check Y's weight since I felt so uneasy about it last visit. I went in thinking that she would be fine, I mean we've made so much progress. I read Babywise and Baby Whisperer, we were making progress with the E.A.S.Y routine (still working on the S so I haven't really gotten much of the Y yet), she was eating every 2.5 to 3 hours. I was so excited and so sure that everything was fine...and then the nurse walks in and weighs her and we find that she's only gained 3 oz in 2 weeks when she should gain approximately an ounce a day. At this point the doctor is not sure if it is just her or if it is a problem with my milk (not enough caloric content or she's not getting enough hindmilk). It's funny, I never really thought I'd be so bothered by not being able to breastfeed but now that I'm experiencing it I absolutely hate not being able to do it. It was my time with her, and it really ticks me off that I made it through all the snack feeds and the terribly sore nipples and all the tears that came along with all it only to reach this point. It may only be that I have to do this for 2 days (she goes back to the Dr on Friday to be reassessed) but that just seems to be so far away at this point. I've received advice from friends to either continue to supplement or to ignore the doctor completely, I'm seriously torn at this point as to what to do. I mean, she's had bottles before. The upsetting part is that I've never had to be the one to give it to her. Either B or my mom would give her the bottle, I only ever did it twice and that was when my nipples were unbearably sore. I've called my lactation consultant to ask her opinion but she's not in again until Friday, so it looks like either way I won't know anything until then...hopefully the scale was just broken! Well I'm going to bed now, but at least I got some pumping done while typing this, if I can't use it for Yanna then maybe I'll sell it. I hear the going rate is $7 an ounce! Here's some pictures, enjoy!

Daddy Time

Mommy Time

Baby Time (She is so freakin' beautiful!)

Just Relaxing...

Too cute...just had to share! I swear this girl is growing an inch a day!

Saying Goodbye to Grandma

So reality is really about to set in now that my mommy is gone. I am going to miss her so much, I don't think I could have done these past few weeks without her help. She was a lifesaver and a huge reassurance. It was sad to say goodbye today at the airport but Christmas will be here before we know it and we'll get to see each other again. I will say this though, saying goodbye is a whole different ball game when a grandchild is involved! Here are some pictures of Mom and Y before we left for the airport.

Y's Blessing

On Sunday we had Y blessed and were really happy to have so much of our family to and share the day with us. Here are some pictures from that day.

Gladys (Great Grandma)

Paul & Queta (Grandparents)

Aunt Janice & Uncle Rick

Relief

Okay, so I am ever slowly growing more confident in my ability to breastfeed. After taking Yanna to her appointment with her pediatrician and talking with a few friends who offered advice I must say that I feel much better about it. I was very worried and extremely distraught at the thought of not being able to provide the amount of food she needed. However, after going to see her doctor and talking to him about it he explained to me that she is now 9lbs 9oz which would mean that she is gaining an ounce a day which is exactly where she should be. Apparently that's a sign that she is indeed getting enough to eat. He said that as far as her always wanting to be at the breast is probably just a comfort thing and then he told me how to tell if she's eating or just treating me as her personal pacifier. Since the visit I think we've been doing fairly well with it and somehow, by no real effort on my behalf, she takes each side for about 20 minutes and then she's done. And we do this only every 2 hours now!!! I guess typically it should be every 2.5 hours, but hey, I'm happy with whatever I can get at this point. Eventually we will be able to stretch it out to 2.5 hours but for now I'm satisfied. He also asked me about how much I am able to pump at one time and I told him between an ounce and 1.5oz so he explained that she's probably definitely getting enough because she can suck out 2 or 3 times that amount. I also found that very comforting. Since I was so worried and concerned we're gonna go back in 2 weeks and weigh her again to make sure she is still progressing as she should be.

Here is a picture from last weekend which I thought was cute...of Y at least, I could have been better. haha. Tomorrow we're having her blessed so we'll post more pictures from that later.

Frustrated and Happy Too!

So we've been parents for almost 3 weeks now, when does it start to get easier?!?! I've never really been the type to just up and quit something but I'm seriously considering quiting this breastfeeding stuff. I went to see the lactation consultant last week and she was great! We got all of the latching problems worked out and she really helped me to know that it was nothing that I was doing wrong and that I was correct when I thought that Y was not opening wide enough to latch on correctly and without causing me pain. So I left that meeting feeling great, really empowered but now I am just frustrated that I don't think I'm producing enough milk for my baby. She will suck for an hour or more and she still still be upset and cranky after which she will drink formula and be absolutely fine. I really don't know if it's milk supply or just a baby with a huge appetite, I really have no clue, but it is frustrating nonetheless. I will ask her pediatrician tomorrow and see what he thinks. I just get so sad and frustrated sometimes because all I really want is to be able to feed my baby and have that be enough. I don't want to have to give her formula, honestly I hate when she has a bottle of formula. But when faced with the decision of letting her have formula or having her crying because she didn't get enough, I think the decision is easy. I also read somewhere that maybe it has nothing to do with the amount she's eating and more that she just feels the need to be close to me or has a strong desire to suck. If it's the latter then you'd think she'd take a pacifier...she seems to hate the thing though. I really don't know and honestly I've been so emotional about it lately that I probably have some skewed perspective of whatever it is that is going on. Well since she goes to the doctor tomorrow I will try to find some time to post and update you guys on how she's doing.

As for how I'm doing...I've recovered pretty well. Last week when I went to my OB/GYN my blood pressure was better but still not great. Also last week when I went to the doctor we discovered that I had lost a total of 26 pounds since I had her (11lbs the first week and 15 pounds the second). Needless to say that I'm very happy about that and the fact that I've been in my smallest jeans for about a week and a half now! At least that can comfort me in my times of distressing about breastfeeding!

Week One

We've officially been home from the hospital for one week and boy has it been a long one! We've had a couple of never ending nights, as well as some very cranky periods but all in all everything is going well. Y had her Dr. appointment on Wednesday and she was up to 8lbs 12oz so she only had 2 more ounces to go until she reaches her birth weight (which I'm sure she's gained by now). So everything went great at her appointment. I also has an appointment on Wednesday but mine was to have my staples taken out. I was horrified at the thought, all I could imagine was someone taking a staple remover to my flesh. However, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised, I didn't feel a thing! So that was the good news from the appointment. The bad news is that my blood pressure was really high. We speculate that it could have been from me being nervous about having the staples out. The doctor said that usually blood pressure drops as the swelling in the legs and feet go down and mine are still pretty huge. Until it drops though he has me on blood pressure medication. I've been monitoring my BP at home for the last several days and whereas my systolic numbers are great, my diastolic numbers have been pretty high. Hopefully they begin to drop though, I go back on Wednesday to have my BP checked again.

As for us at home, my mom arrived on Tuesday and that's been a huge relief. We've started experiencing some nipple confusion so we're going to try to meet with the lactation consultant about that as well as a couple other concerns in the coming days. She's a relatively happy baby though. My goal is to get her back to the point where she can fall asleep in her crib all on her own. She did it great while in the hospital but once we got home she kinda stopped. So if any of you moms out there have any suggestions, they'd be highly appreciated. I guess I don't wanna always nurse her to sleep or rock her to sleep, although I enjoy it, it would be nice if I didn't always have to do it. But maybe I'm just asking for too much too fast...I dunno, you tell me. I know for a fact that there are some great moms reading this blog, so by all means give me your advice!

Did I Make the Right Choice?

Okay, so this is a story for my fellow Hokies, but the rest of you can enjoy it and read it as well. On my very first visit with my doctor (you know the one where you go in his office and meet him for the first time) I was in his office waiting for him and the first thing I notice hanging on his wall is his Bachelor's degree and Medical School Degree hanging on his wall. Well, that's pretty common, right? Well what caught my eye was the fact that they were both from the University of Virginia. So for those of you who aren't familiar with UVa and Virginia Tech, they are HUGE rival schools. So I guess the first thought was whether I should just get a new doctor period. wasn't too sure I wanted a Wahoo delivering my kid. Well anyways, I stayed, and I just happened to be wearing a VT t-shirt that day. Boy did the insults start flying then. Luckily we're both very sarcastic and no one got offended. Actually we insulted each other throughout my entire pregnancy for our choice of schools. So before I was discharged from the hospital I definitely wanted to have a picture taken of him holding Y and he was more than willing to oblige. So I had some VT stuff bought to the hospital and he refused to actually touch any of the stuff, so that is why I am in the photo (without my hair done) holding it for him!

For what it's worth and as an answer to the title of this post, Yes, I made the right choice! I don't think I truly appreciated my doctor until I was in labor. If he's around and I'm still in Michigan he'll definitely be delivering my next child. But for the record, he's about the only Wahoo that I can compliment, haha. Just kidding, they're really not so bad. They just made a questionable decision in choice of schools. Goodnight...