I arrived in North Carolina on Thursday, the viewing was scheduled for Friday afternoon and the funeral on Saturday. I found myself very emotional at just the thought of seeing Grandma laying there in a casket. I truly could not bare the thought of it so you can imagine how apprehensive I was once we arrived at the funeral home and were asked to approve of the body.
I cried and I was emotional but oddly enough I felt calm and peace. I was truly able to stand there with the body and know it was just a vessel. I have no doubt that my grandma was there with me at that exact moment, she comforted me, she gave me the strength I needed at that moment and in many moments sense.
The viewing and funeral were both well attended. Many people that I didn't know but who all knew me or knew of me. I introduced myself to one of her friends, her name was Ms. Marie and they had lived on the same street for 40+ years. I vaguely remember her asking me a question and when I answered I somehow ended up mentioning that I live in Michigan. She looked at me with a hint of recognition and she said, "oh, you're the one she'd talk on the phone to every Sunday. I remember she'd always tell me she was waitin' on her grandbaby to call." It brought such a big smile to my face, Grandma loved those phone calls and they are a memory that I am so glad I have to hold on to forever.
We went back to the grave site to give it final approval on Monday. And while there I remember mentioning to my mom that it all felt so surreal. In many ways it still doesn't feel real. I suppose with time it will just become reality but for now it just seems like an alternate reality.
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