Ever since Y was born I have always loved tiptoeing into her room to watch her sleep. I don't do it every night but I do it quite often - a few times a week. This week after quietly going in I posted a status update on Facebook once I exited their room. The status update read, "Sometimes, late at night I tiptoe into the girls room to watch them sleep. And on these occasions I am overwhelmed by how much I love being a mommy...their mommy."
I received a slew of comments and 'likes' for the comment from those telling me how great a mom I am, to those expressing their mutual feelings and agreement towards mother- or fatherhood to those who just felt it was a beautiful comment in general. I guess I was a little surprised that my one comment struck a chord with so many, though I guess I shouldn't have been surprised - certainly I'm not the only one to have ever felt this way while watching their children. But I suppose that I've been doing it for so long that it just seems pretty casual to me. I find it to be particularly calming and reassuring on those crazy days when Y seems to have one tantrum after another and Q just won't stop crying no matter what I do. To watch them sleep somehow makes it all better. It reassures me that I'm not the horrible mother that I sometimes feel like during the day and that I'm not completely ruining their lives (yes, believe it or not, sometimes I feel this way).
1 comment:
i have those days where i am counting down the minutes until spencers bedtime after a day of hellish tantrums and bugging the baby. I have days and even weeks where i feel bad for my kids for getting stuck with an impatient and easily frustrated mother like myself. just when i think i can not do this anymore, a sweet moment before bed time, or during our prayers, will remind me how much i love the little buggers. i love them enough to continue striving to be the mother they deserve, no matter how often i fall short. you are not the only one that is painfully aware of their imperfections. we all fall short sometimes. i am learning to forgive myself and move forward.
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